New Year's greeting from my gang.....to yours !

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by squirrelman, Dec 24, 2010.

  1. squirrelman

    squirrelman Member

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  2. Metallican525

    Metallican525 New Member

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    A happy happy and a merry merry to you as well SM!!!!!!!
     
  3. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Back at you SQ. May you find incredible peace and fulfilment in the New Year. And I hope you ride long and hard enough next year that you get a sore arse.
     
  4. crustyrider

    crustyrider New Member

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    ha ha kinda hard to top what Randy said Squirrel, happy Holidays .. be safe

    Crusty
     
  5. MrDen

    MrDen New Member

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    merry christmas ya old deadhead!
     
  6. GreyVF750F

    GreyVF750F Member

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    von Zipper says Merry Christmas. May you ride hard and long.
     
  7. cebuVFR

    cebuVFR Member

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    Merry Christmas to all!
     
  8. Pliskin

    Pliskin New Member

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    As 2010 nears the end, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails/forum discussions over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

    I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

    I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

    I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

    Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

    I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.

    I send special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

    ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.

    I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

    I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.

    I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

    I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

    I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

    I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

    I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

    I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

    I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

    I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

    I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

    I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

    And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan ..

    I no longer buy cookies from Woollies since I now have their recipe.

    I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

    I can't ever pick up a coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a s * x molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

    I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

    If you don't copy and paste this and send it as an e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician..

    Oh, by the way..... A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.


    Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

    P. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

    NOW YOU ALL HAVE YOURSELVES A VERY GOOD DAY…………..AND A HEALTHY LIFE…………….
     
  9. drewl

    drewl Insider

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    Happy New Year
    Let's RAWK this one



    cuz the last one sucked
     
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