I was forewarned!

That is price you pay for owning a piece of motoring history.

That seat cover is unobtanium.

The last time I checked, the Russians had taken the last lot of 20 OEM seat skins to China for reproduction. Needless to say, they used a very sub-standard grade of vinyl with a high ether and volatile plasticiser content. Put one of those damn replacements on the bike and your ball sack actually fuses to the seat when you ride in temperatures above 24.63 Celsius. I found 9 documented cases of people needing ball sack replacement.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find ball sack skin donors? Well I did the research for you. They only come out of three countries on the freaking planet. The problem is that the average American ball sack is about 28.375% larger than the biggest samples coming out of Sri-Lanka, Pakistan and Malta. That means that you have to buy the graft, and culture it to grow big enough to wrap around the testicle area. That's three months of wrapping your testicles in gauze treated with aloe, vitamin E and whale sperm just waiting for the graft to grow. That's AFTER being on the wait list and HOPING someone "donates" their scrotum. Yeah, I'm sure everyone just gives up their ball sack and nobody passes out in a bar, only to wake up in a bathtub full of ice with their nutsack missing.

I would not want the Karma of grafting on someone else's stolen ball sack, dude.

Ok, now lets suppose you do "find" an acceptable graft. You then get to endure 9 months of painful therapy, while the skin fills in the area. It then takes another 5 years for the new ball sack to stretch enough to even begin to match the wrinkles of your existing scrotum.

Yes, your chode (taint) also fuses. That isn't a problem though as we have lots of experience with epeziotomies in this country. They can fix that easily and have you pooping normally within a couple of weeks.

Now .... do you realize that 29 out of every 32 seat covers are counterfeit? Good luck finding a true OEM replacement.

If I was you, I would NOT risk dark ballsack for the rest of my life. Get rid of that rolling health hazard NOW.

Jose

 

Yep, here's a VFRW member with the little woman applying ointment. See Honda Tech Bulletin # MButt84500VF

 

Happened to me once. Haven't been the same since. I thought my front oil line getting clogged with a chunk of tinker from a junk oil filter was bad. I only had to replace the cams... let alone a seat cover

 

Geez summitlt!

Same oil supply problem ocurred on my '71 CB500-4......cheap WARSHAWSKY oil filter left paper matter in oil supply pipeline. Ate camshaft and entire cylinder head. OUCH! Fixed it and drove it for another 20 years...

 

Totally Epic...SRADS dont even deserve that kinda treatment

 

Oh my, this thread had gone down the drain..... :tclaw: One more crack from the peanut gallery, and we will all be feeling ill..... uke:

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Crack filler? http://www.tonsoflaughs.faketrix.com/content/pics/page2/original_files/butt-crack-funny-picture.jpg

 

Amazing levels of creative sarcasm and irony here !! Lots 'a funny stuff, but according to my faith, regular periodic application and re-application of 'ArmorAll"* to the seat material should prevent cracking due to hydrocarbon shrinkage or ozone effects.

As my seats get older and more prone to crack due to age and as my income has decreased with age........Black duct tape is holding some together, 'shamed to admit.....



* Not a paid endorser.

 

You got to watch that black duct tape on your seat.... When you remove it it can painfully rip out hairs. :scared:

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