Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    [​IMG]



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  2. FJ12rydertoo

    FJ12rydertoo Member

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  3. Doug7200

    Doug7200 New Member

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    Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

    As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

    Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

    After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

    He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
     
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  4. Doug7200

    Doug7200 New Member

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    An old farmer drove to a neighbor's and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

    The farmer asked, "Is your Dad home?"

    The boy replied, "No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

    The farmer said, "Well, is your Mother here?"

    The boy said, "No sir, she went to town with Dad."

    The farmer said, "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

    The boy said, "No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

    The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

    The boy said, "Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

    "Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."

    The boy thought for a moment, "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
     
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  5. John451

    John451 Member

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    H'mm wonder if it provides the wearer a safe space from hetro-normative micro aggressions, perhaps companies should offer them to millennials as they face life after graduating from progressive Universitys ?
     
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  6. Lint

    Lint Member

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  7. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

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    How was the traffic ?

     
  8. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Most guys think that a woman's greatest wish is to find the perfect man.

    Oh for fuck sake guys. Puleeze!

    Their greatest desire is to eat what they want, where and when they want, and as much as they want, without getting fat.
     
  9. Gator

    Gator Insider

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    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019
  10. Lint

    Lint Member

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    20190201_210403.jpg
     
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  11. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    I have begun a new and healthy lifestyle. I prepare and drink protein shakes often. They taste remarkably like margaritas.
     
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  12. Lint

    Lint Member

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    FB_IMG_1549152533413.jpg
     
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  13. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    I got a real chuckle out of imagining this scene. Thanks Lint. Humour is the best medicine.
     
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  14. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    [​IMG]


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  15. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    [​IMG]



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  16. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  17. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    [​IMG]
    Me at the second to last R3
    Pretty sure that’s me on the floor


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  18. Lint

    Lint Member

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    It is, after you fell through your tent.
     
  19. Lint

    Lint Member

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  20. Lint

    Lint Member

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