Humor Thread

Some real life humor for you.

Wife cracked the screen on her new phone. It was the same model/type as mine so I gave her my phone which was newer and said here you go, have mine it's the same size, you'll know how to use it, etc which she was happy with.

I zip down to the shop and get a new phone. Wife see's the new phone which is a later model with a bigger screen.

"oh thanks honey, I'll have this one instead"

"But but, I thought you where happy with my old phone and besides you broke your phone, I get the new phone"

"and who is buying you a new motorcycle for your birthday, huh?"

"erm, well, this is where you turn your new bigger screen flashier phone on........"

 

btdt!!!! ;-)

 

Heh.
This summer I got a (new to me) 2000 VFR, wife got a new Buick. I get to drive the car anytime I want, same with the bike, of course.
Married for 25+ years, I have it figured out maybe?

 

Here is an e-bay advert that ended recently here in aussie land. The description of the bike for sale is well worth a gander.

Not recommended for Triumph owners! *looks around. Nope, can't see any here! :semi-twins:

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/TRIUMPH-...=item23755039cc:g:Hi0AAOSwnbZYDYJP&rmvSB=true

If the link dies, here is the description. The final sale price was $19,700 aus.

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Up for auction is my Triumph Thruxton R with only 1,700 kms on the clock and only just had it's first service. NO RESERVE 99 CENTS STARTING PRICE


Bought this bike from Pro Cycles St Peters about 3 months ago and have enjoyed a lot of time with it waiting for parts and accessories and many many days waiting whimsically for people from Pro Cycles St Peters to call me back.

Now, if you have recently grown a beard and are wearing fashion from the 60s and 70s and have a hotch-potch of tattoos all gotten at the same time, telling of a life you haven't lived yet, then this bike is for you. It will give you all the headaches of owning an old bike....

•Such as breaking down at the most inopportune time, which helps you with character building without actually having to encounter problems over 30 years of actual life issues to build character.

•Such as having to wait for parts sometimes 6 and 12 months away, as you would if you owned an old rare model from the 60s

•Such as the staff at the dealership laughing at you mockingly whenever you call to see where the parts are....just like they did in the good old days before customer service became the "big deal" it is nowadays.

•Such as the matching apparel falling apart within the first couple of hours of wearing it.....providing you with an old looking garment quickly without having to actually wear it in. Something that would appeal to those with a collection of life-long arm tattoos that they got in Surry Hills last year. A phenomenon I like to call "Instant Vintage"

So, if you like to ride a bike that looks great but is unreliable, lacks any type of back-up from the factory or the dealership (PRO-CYCLES ST PETERS), and you don't mind being laughed at by the people who have benefited from you spending your hard earned cash, then this is the bike for you.


If you wear your clothes with the manufacturers brand name emblazoned on the outside of the garment then this is the bike for you....it is festooned with brand names like Ohlins, Brembo and a bunch of other feces. But remember....there are Brembos and there are Brembos. Those who know (and have ridden) the difference will understand.



So, if you are the type of person whose sole priority for purchasing anything is desirability, and other factors like function, durability, safety, obsolescence, after-sale service, warranty etc are insignificant factors unworthy of your consideration.....then this is definitely the bike for you.




I have since kicked myself in the head for forgetting THREE KEY WORDS IN MOTORCYCLE OWNERSHIP........JAPANESE FOUR CYLINDER....and I have gone out and bought a reliable, good looking, and ummmm....FAST......Honda.

Which is why I have started this auction at 99 cents and with no reserve, to hopefully make even a fraction of my money back on this piece of crap.

Normally in this situation I would make a comment about the balance of the factory warranty being passed on to the next owner....but in this situation and with Triumph's track record in other areas.....I am hesitant to make any type of commitment, especially as I may obligate myself with warranty repairs when Triumph eventually declines any warranty repair claim you may make in the future.

Inspections are strongly recommended before bidding. THE BIKE IS CURRENTLY LOCATED IN THE BOWELS OF THE PRO-CYCLES ST PETERS WORKSHOP ALONG WITH ANOTHER 300-400 BIKES WHICH ARE "AWAITING PARTS" ARE CURRENTLY STORED.

If you want to see it, they will need a day or two notice to get it out from behind all the other bikes.

Test riding is totally out of the question......well, firstly because it needs to be repaired - needs a bolt holding the gear selection lever to the gear selection arm....only a small issue.....but about 8 months wait on the parts. I could jerry-rig it with a Bunnings nut and bolt set for 80 cents....but that would void the warranty....lol

But for the most part....test rides are definitely out of the question because you WILL break down whilst on your test-ride then it will cost me a couple of hundred dollars to tow the piece of crap back to the workshop and probable add another 12 months to the spare-parts waiting time for the part which broke during your test-ride.

And secondly, test-riding is out of the question because if a critical part has a catastrophic failure during your test-ride....as it more than probably will, the last thing I need is a law suit from your family and loved ones for having caused you a major injury or death.

BUT, if you can leave a deposit of $200 (for towing expenses) and show evidence of adequate Income Protection and Life Insurance then you can take it for a test-ride......as soon as the parts have come in to fix it.....lol

And...the usual disclaimer.....Don't bid unless you have the money (to buy another motorbike to ride during the...extended.... periods this one is waiting for parts), permission from your boyfriend, permission from your mother, and permission from your mental health professional. I am not interested in swapping for a retro barber's chair, a 1958 Goggo Mobile, a time-share in flat in Bondi, or a disassembled 1964 Ford XP ute that you can't finish because you don't have the tools.

Cash only please...no shiny rocks, sea-shells or direct bank credit from your cousin who is a Nigerian Prince.....in exile.

Finally...I repeat..If you enjoy crappy, unreliable, poorly backed-up products, poor service with a touch of mocking, and being stranded on the side of the road.....then this bike and the less-than-helpful guys at PRO-CYCLES ST PETERS are the best combination for you.

This is a serious auction and is for an actual bike...you can call the knuckleheads at Pro Cycles St Peters...they will confirm everything I have written above. The second and third photos are the actual bike.

Also, one last thing...I ordered the Vance & Hines slip on exhausts from Triumphs of Seattle (who have an eBay presence and by the way can get you any Thruxton Part you need faster and cheaper than Pro-Cycles St peters....even with the exchange rate and shipping costs it ends up cheaper). If you want these pipes they will be $1,000 extra and happy to negotiate with the eventual buyer of the bike. If not I'll sell them separately on eBay.

Ummmm....happy bidding...!?! Wish I could also say "Happy Riding"...but I can't

If you choose to pay with Pay-Pal...you pay the fees.

Happy to work with interstate and international buyers for shipping.....that's right...international....I have listed this for international buyers as well, so that as many people as possible around the world get to read this advertisement...even the knuckleheads at the Triumph home office.


On 25-Oct-16 at 10:03:59 AEDST, seller added the following information:

I'm guessing it's because this advertisement has received almost 6,000 views in the first 12 hours that some "heavy" from Triumph Australia called me this morning to ask if there is anything he can do to assist with the issues I'm having with my Thruxton R. I had to tell him that if he is interested in buying it that all bids should be made via eBay.

No, he persisted with wanting to "assist me with any issues" and politely asking a number of times. Until I actually started talking at which time he thought it would be appropriate to interrupt me and try to talk over me......True to form Triumph. Send one of your bigger knuckleheads to fix the job a smaller knucklehead started.

He tried to argue my perception versus reality...you know....like the headmaster used to do...or like your bank manager may do....or those wanker cafe-racer riding hipsters try to do, in that self-righteous, condescending way, which is something I have never suffered gladly.

So if that's your response TRIUMPH AUSTRALIA here's me DOUBLING DOWN.....

Apparently my bike has been repaired and "ready to go". Although I'm not sure (and neither are they) about how far it will "go" without some other part failing. And fingers crossed it won't be a major part let go mid-corner.

NO!!!! The parts were not overnight air-freighted from England which is where I was told yesterday they were........The parts to repair my bike were raided from another Thruxton R in the showroom.

Now, don't think for a moment that I don't appreciate the gesture PRO CYCLES ST PETERS and TRIUMPH AUSTRALIA.......BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE POOR SHMUCK WHO BUYS THE BIKE THAT HAS HAD THE PARTS RAIDED FROM IT..??? HUH???

SO IF YOU ARE THINKING OF BUYING A TRIUMPH THRUXTON R IN AUSTRALIA MAKE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN IT ISN'T THE ONE THAT HAS HAD PARTS RAIDED FROM IT AND LATER PUT BACK TOGETHER IN THE BACK OF THE WORKSHOP.....because let's face it....if the factory can't get it right, what chance do the poor guys in the workshop have?

Did I mention I don't like being patronised or condescended to.




On 25-Oct-16 at 12:38:51 AEDST, seller added the following information:

IF YOU'RE THINKING OF BUYING ONE OF THESE TAKE EXTRA CARE.....THEY HAVE RAIDED ANOTHER BIKE FOR PARTS TO FIX THIS ONE. MAKE SURE THE BIKE YOU WANT TO BUY ISN'T THE ONE THEY RAIDED.




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Hey Lint. You have talents. You found and posted this ahead of the election. The lead up is remarkably like the campaign, the middle is like Trump's victory speech and then there is the projections for your future. LOL

 

reminds me of a tweet i saw recently:
"I bought my girl a new hoodie. I'm gonna wear it for a few days though so she thinks she's taking mine."

 

"I want a coffee so dark and rich, it was directed by Tim Burton."

 

Funniest thing I've seen in a long time is the lack of a "plan B" script by the "news media" when Donald beat out Hillary. They were so dumbfounded, they were making up stuff on the fly. It was obvious. I also will enjoy a bunch of them losing their jobs because Trump isn't using a contingent of "protected news media" following him everywhere he goes which is fairly unprecedented. Me thinks they burned the bridges with him, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

When you have no gun control, you have no control.

 

Might be looking like this here later this week.

I hope it just dumps if it does snow.

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Same horse you had when you were a RCMP. Things never change..........................................................

 

Hey that's me---- soon


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