Humor Thread

Letters mean things. Oh the difference that a "T" and "F" make.

 

If you ride a Honda Grom, does that you a Gromulan or a Grommet?

 

Canada should subsidize free psychiatric medications to some US legislators.

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/thisisthat/...anadians-banned-from-driving-in-usa-1.3763428

 

The telephone rings suddenly and is answered by a pre teen child:

"Chilliwack Central Orphanage. Can I help you?"

"Are your parents home?"




OK. Kinda cold but what the hell.

 

Great picture of a procrastinator!

 

*
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
*
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
*
The guy left.* A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
*
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
*
The guy left.* A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
*
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."
*
The guy left.* The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes.* He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back."
*
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?"
*
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house

 

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.

Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white patriarchal society . "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society".

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery", asked the couple?

"Because I am the artist, who painted the picture", he replied, "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all.

They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch"

 

Ruh roh ... lolzz ...

 

:triumphant::congratulatory::star:

 

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had a few drinks and listened to some music. Nice guy, wants to be a web designer.

 

DECK MAINTENANCE

[video=youtube;hkmeoYKYctw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw[/video]

 

At work, I work with an older doode named "spyder" but his real name is Dave; thats what I call him, regardless of him having "spyder" emblazoned on the back of his priority vest. By trade he is a plumber, but does iron work at work. I know there is a joke in here somewhere, truth mirrors comidy sometimes. :loco: eace:

 

They're just so caring!

 

Set up--- ya think?


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Nice try Sheriff, but I don't think the target audience have much interest in reading the papers.

 

Reminds me of that Al Pacino movie when they had a free breakfast for all the scumbags that had warrants --- after they were done they said oh by the way your all arrested.



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