Humor Thread

We don't have social security here. We have Old Age Pension. It hadn't been invented when I became old.

 

For your delectation, 2 furry, funny rodent idiots..................

 

You're screwed

 

Ted Cruz Bad Reading
https://youtu.be/v75wCTMZoSY

 

Hey SOW, I'M READY...

 

You have this happen,run. Those tires are over 100 psi and caused by rubbing the sidewalls on curbs. And when they blow (SOW) sounds like the big boom of fireworks.
When heavy hauling, the dick owner would come out and inspect all my tires, 5,7 and 9 axle trailers.

 

Like this Duc? lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bznjDuf80HY

 

I think those are fake. Real tire boobs have a more natural look. This tire is trying too hard.

 

What a dumb shit

 

I did not know they made implants for truck tires.

 

Jeesh, tough crowd.

 

Retreads...

 

The old blacksmiths loneliness was starting to creep in after his wife of 50 years recently died.

When he could stand it no longer he decided to go into town to the pet store and buy a pet as a companion.

When he got to the pet store he explained his dilemma to the clerk saying that he wanted a companion pet but something low maintenance.

The clerk told the old timer I have just the right thing for you and Took him over to where the birds were caged.

He pointed at a small canary and told him this pet is just right and it sings really pretty.

He went on to tell the old blacksmith that if you very lightly file the birds beak down it will produce music unlike he had ever heard.

But you have to be very careful, if you file it down just a tiny bit too much the bird will not be able to eat and will starve to death.

The old-timer happy with this choice took the Bird home.

A week later he is back in the store asking for a replacement Canary as the first one had died.

The clerk being a little more than agitated with the situation berated the old man and told him that He had been warned not to file the beak down to far as the bird wouldn't be able to eat and would starve to death.

The old man replied I guess that could have been what killed it but honestly I think it was already dead when I took it's head out of the vice!

 

So I am reffing a hockey game the other night and the coach is giving me grief ,I asked if his name was Richard ,no was his reply . Through the game he was more obnoxious so I asked if his name might be Richard Cranium to which he replied no ,his partner was in hysterics as he told me after the game the guy never got the shortened meaning for this name (Dick Head )

 

NEED A WHOLE SQUADRON OF THESE
https://youtu.be/93kGCTOwmow
Oh, this is a humor thread....to bad

 

Lead me not into temptation.....awe. Fuck that! Follow me. I know a shortcut.