Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. Gator

    Gator Insider

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  2. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Fast thinking. .....
     
  3. Gator

    Gator Insider

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    Liquor makes you brilliant.
     
  4. GreyVF750F

    GreyVF750F Member

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    Late in the night, Randy finally regained consciousness in agonizing pain.

    He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms,
    a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.

    He realized that he was in a life-threatening situation.

    The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly
    and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable,

    "You may not feel anything from the waist down.”

    Also speaking slowly, Bob managed to mumble in reply: "Can I feel your tits, then?”

    And that my friends, is keeping a POSITIVE ATTITUDE
     
  5. Pliskin

    Pliskin New Member

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    I LMFAO...Showed it to someone in my office who never even cracked a smile.
     
  6. Lint

    Lint Member

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    Aeronautical Quiz:


    They say it is common sense but here is a Clue: Just remember that a helicopter's blade (in cross-section) is shaped like an airplanes wing, and both catch air giving lift. Now answer the question.... This should be an easy quiz for those who have even a modicum of knowledge about aircraft. However, the answer may surprise you.

    The Question:

    "What is the primary advantage of rotary winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?"

























    Mail Attachment-69.jpeg

    Don't worry, I got it wrong too
     
  7. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Good lord......nice!!!!
     
  8. Lint

    Lint Member

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    10329244_1166496150041197_5830446232208794191_n.jpg every time
     
  9. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Lint. What does you lady in you avatar use as a holster for that fishing pole? Never know when the big eel will come along and she will have the fight of her life dealing with it.
     
  10. marriedman

    marriedman New Member

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    [video]www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL3MxAH-kDI&feature=youtu.be[/video]

    I shit you not, this is for real. And I want to hang out with this guy!
     
  11. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    HIRED! I would be embarrassed to show my face in court after producing an add like that.
     
  12. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Randy, is 34468 your badge #?
     
  13. Lint

    Lint Member

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    I got an eel she can beat off...
     
  14. Big_Jim59

    Big_Jim59 Member

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    We are not all like that in Texas but it's close.

    Remeber, "Never ever talk to cops. It's your right not to."

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc
     
  15. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Kinda. It is my regimental number which was my badge number too. Now it is my pension number and it is used to deal with dissability pension stuff and anything else to do with my life as it pertains to the RCMP. Unless I get charged with an Indictable Offense in which case I get fingerprinted...again...but this time issued an FPS (finger print service file) number.
     
  16. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Kind of figured that...
    Cool beans Mr
     
  17. proper

    proper New Member

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    Grandparents' Overnight Stay...!
    Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
    When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
    The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
    "How much?" asked Grandpa.
    "$10 a pill," answered the son.
    "I don't care," said Grandpa,
    "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
    Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110."
    "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."
     
  18. marriedman

    marriedman New Member

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    lol, what's really funny is that those things are over $100 a pill. Um... well, that's what I heard! :embarassed:
     
  19. Pliskin

    Pliskin New Member

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    Randy is so old, his SS # is "1".

    (hardy har har).
     
  20. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Shaaaawing.....out da park....
     
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