Dear Randy

This depends on what tence the need is. If you need someone in the groin, there is a certain feeling. Usually a feeling of power, and satisfaction. A sence that you have power over the person on the receiving end. On the other side of this is being need in the goin. Then the feeling would be something like"OOOOH FAAAAACK GAAAAWD"

I see you signed off as "I need to know" I assume you are American. The only thing Americans "Need to know" is if Clinton wears boxers or briefs. Hiliary prefers commando.:scared:

 

If all of a sudden you could do "it" what would "it" be? In Camines case, "it" is an acronym for "Intimate Touching" Is this the case for you? Or does this mean "Insane Theresa" So I believe you may have this deep desire to have sexual encounters with someone in your life named Theresa. What is your mother- in-law's name? You state the in-laws live in NC. North Chilliwack is rather small and I am unaware of any Theresa here. IT may also stand for Infirmed Tom. There is a Tom in the infirmerary at the hospital in North Chilliwack so this may fit.

I believe it is your sister that is claiming to be your wife. This often happens when brother and sister behave like husband and wife. They actually begin to believe this and start playing banjos and juice harps. Does this sound familiar. If so. American does not need to know.

All the routes in North Chilliwack go through fields of cow shit.

 

I do not concern myslef with becomeing a fixture of a polpularity contest. My purpose is to offer slefless assistance to as many poor degenerate people, who cannot gather enough intelegent thought to occupy a nanno second of time, as I can. Pathetic people should all have the benifit of my superior intelect and wisdom.

If that "uber guru" you speak of is Joey, then I am indeed insulted. His usual place of abode is lined with rubber wallpaper.

 

YouTube - Robin Williams Explains Golf

You should enjoy golf. You get to use a weapon and legally beat the shit out of some poor defenseless little white thing. This should help you thorugh your depression. If not. Suck it up pussie.

As far as the seals arriving at your front door. If the Seals do show up at your front door, be prepared for a sudden onslaught of excrament in your tousers. Hands up. No sudden moved. YOu will be fine.

 

Dear Randy:

Last night my wife asked me if I would like to stuff the bird. She got all pissy when I told her to do it herself. Did I perhaps misunderstand her request?

Sincerely,

Blue Balls

 

I am really late on this one. Was it Tweety Bird she wanted you to stuff? Was it a delicate swan or an old buzzard. You need to be more accurate in describing your problem. If you are talking about festive stuffing you can Stove Top Stuff, Couch Stuff, Bed Stff, or Bathroom Floor Stuff. Some adventurous people Back Seat in the 57 Chevy Stuff.

Now if you are still stumped and need a quick solution for you wife, go to Walmart.

Walmart.com: Play: Waterproof Vibrator, 2 ct: Medicine Cabinet

 

Dear Randy,

How do you feel about old threads being revived?

 

I'm guessing it makes him feel warm & tingly. Or gay.

 

I welcome the opportunity to help, in any way, to guide my fellow VFRW members regardless of my realizing this is a lost cause. With you, it appears you have been awaiting this opportunity to respond to this thread. This indicates that you suffer your internet provider banning you from their service because your surfing targeted sites is causing their servers to melt down. You should invest in some time and get out to the next R3. They have a blow up doll there for your use.

 

You dad knows for sure!

 

Dear Randy
I am bore and cannot ride :sad: What should I do?

 

Are you as bored as the subject of your avatar? If not, then suck it up. You seem to think that society owes you pity as a result of your doing something stupid on a recent ride. This is not the case. You went out on a bike that is far to big for you. You encountered a dilemma and lost. Get over it. You should consider buying full body inflatable impact gear.

I also have been made aware that certain harley doode clubs are looking for people who could assist them during their time of need. I believe you may fit the criteria and may even enjoy the experience.

 

Dear Randy

This guy called Randy on VFRW being mean to me what should I do?
Should I :chairshot: him a few time to get his attention?

 

Randy does not like most of his threads. He sent one jacket back 34 times.

 

..........:hug:

 

Dear Randy,

I have a problem. My left big toe has some form of gonorrhea on it. It has swollen up like a hotdog. It hurts to shift the vfr. What should I do? Is there a paddle shifter option for the bike?

Signed,
No More Foot Sex

 

If Randy is otherwise occupied with less serious advice requests or chooses not to address your plight, I would strongly advise sending a PM to Toe Cutter or be up shit creek without a paddle shifter.

 

One might wonder about the degree of sophistication one might expect of any woman that you would date who is into foot sex. Also I question who she has seen before where she would contract gonorrhea from their foot before passing same onto you.

Go to your podiatrist for cures for your foot rot. Worse case scenario is amputation which can be accommodated by those such as who BB suggested. Toe-cutter has quality machinery to do this quick and efficiently. Caterpillar products are known for their durability and ability to work in adverse environments.

Shifting will not present a problem for you without a left foot. You could sell your existing bike and go for a 7th gen with automatic shifting capabilities. I mean you ride side saddle and trailer your bike to riding events now so this would be a natural progression for you.

Failing that, you could invite one of Badbilly's harley doode friends who are on the taller side who will be able to spoon you on your rides and do the shifting for you.

 

Hard to top that one.. LOL