Humor Thread

I did not see this coming.

https://i.imgur.com/P85siAI.gif

 

Fast thinking. .....

 

Liquor makes you brilliant.

 

Late in the night, Randy finally regained consciousness in agonizing pain.

He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms,
a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.

He realized that he was in a life-threatening situation.

The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly
and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable,

"You may not feel anything from the waist down.”

Also speaking slowly, Bob managed to mumble in reply: "Can I feel your tits, then?”

And that my friends, is keeping a POSITIVE ATTITUDE

 

I LMFAO...Showed it to someone in my office who never even cracked a smile.

 

Aeronautical Quiz:


They say it is common sense but here is a Clue: Just remember that a helicopter's blade (in cross-section) is shaped like an airplanes wing, and both catch air giving lift. Now answer the question.... This should be an easy quiz for those who have even a modicum of knowledge about aircraft. However, the answer may surprise you.

The Question:

"What is the primary advantage of rotary winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?"



























Don't worry, I got it wrong too

 

Good lord......nice!!!!

 

every time

 

Lint. What does you lady in you avatar use as a holster for that fishing pole? Never know when the big eel will come along and she will have the fight of her life dealing with it.

 

[video]www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL3MxAH-kDI&feature=youtu.be[/video]

I shit you not, this is for real. And I want to hang out with this guy!

 

HIRED! I would be embarrassed to show my face in court after producing an add like that.

 

Randy, is 34468 your badge #?

 

I got an eel she can beat off...

 

We are not all like that in Texas but it's close.

Remeber, "Never ever talk to cops. It's your right not to."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc

 

Kinda. It is my regimental number which was my badge number too. Now it is my pension number and it is used to deal with dissability pension stuff and anything else to do with my life as it pertains to the RCMP. Unless I get charged with an Indictable Offense in which case I get fingerprinted...again...but this time issued an FPS (finger print service file) number.

 

Kind of figured that...
Cool beans Mr

 

Grandparents' Overnight Stay...!
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$10 a pill," answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa,
"I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110."
"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."

 

lol, what's really funny is that those things are over $100 a pill. Um... well, that's what I heard! :embarassed:

 

Randy is so old, his SS # is "1".

(hardy har har).

 

Shaaaawing.....out da park....