Television

Like many of you, I am stuck by the weather and not willing to ride on the snow. Given this fact and not wishing to spend all the resultant waking hours away from work drinking, exercising eight hours a day or putzing about on the computer I am left with staring at the TV from time to time.

Now I have saved lots of race videos from last season, and that really helps, but there are still times when I just turn the thing on and try to find something, anything worth wasting my time on.

Which brings me to the core of this rant. Why is this junk so bad?

I have broken it down into a few categories.

•The "Surprise" This is where the producers do some kind of shit to your house/truck/wife/whatever without your knowledge and then we all get to see how surprised/pissed you are about it.

•The "I Will Do Dangerous Shit If The Price Is Right". This is the Axemen/ Most Dangerous Catch genre. In addition to lots of trumped up drama, we also get to watch people get hurt now and then....oh yippeee...yawn

•The "Bullshit Expose Psuedoscientific/historic Show". This is a specialty of some networks and usually there's about ten minutes worth of salient information and it gets stretched out to fill the entire hour minus commercials. Normally the payoff is completely anticlimatic as in "we never did get a photo of the giant squid this trip" and leaves you pissed off at yourself for watching

•Cop Shows. So ubiquitous as to be interchangeable with a few exceptions here and there.

•Bad Scifi. What can I say? It's there for you if you need to comfort the inner geek.

There is of course more, but at this point I am reduced to pay per view and back to the race vids

Sigh

 

You forgot scrambled porn

 

Its funny you mention the giant squid...I know one of the divers/camera men... His videos of the squid, the ones that aren't shown are pretty amazing. Soooo I have no clue how that last sentence helps with your boredom.

 

Went away with the advent of free Internet pr0n, which I suspect is being lamented greatly in large areas of The San Fernando Valley

 

Just go to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Full Episodes and Clips streaming online for free - Hulu and watch It's always sunny in philadelphia...It will be time well spent!

 

Not a bad idea. I've been doing more Internet tv watching lately. Another good one is Archer on FX. Hilarious

 

ARCHER is great... so is Burn Notice.. i am waiting for Justified

 

750ml of generic tequila and the entire 150 DVD set of TeleTubbies is good. Hope you have Blu-ray..

 

While I pride myself in having a healthy sense of humor, I have never been told that it was funny that I mentioned a giant squid. I humbly thank you

Sidebar to Badbilly: It is not necessary to drink while watching Teletubbies, watching for any length of time makes one feel drunk.

 

TELETUBBIES: I've never figgered out if there's peoples in them costumes all movin' 'round like that or it's done by 'puter animation, anyone know ??


The only way to get any half-decent TV * ( except for "Family Guy," so politically incorrect and immature..i love it) is to pay big bucks, and that's another sad fact of American life.



* not including PBS, which is still OK

 

Think of the fame and even fortune if had one been the creator of giant shrimp. One must also recognize that still relatively unexplored is the term giant calamari. A marketing term designed to raise the price of squid from $.39/lb to over a buck.

I never quite figured out why there were no minitelletubbies made by the folks who make Peeps. Peeps in a nuke are way cool.

 

What cracks me up is that on weekends, there are either shows/infomercials about cooking or exercise equipment/exercise programs. One channel to gain weight, another channel to lose it.

 

You can always get a dish and subscribe the the CBC. Sometimes there are re-runs of Friendly Giant, Mr. Dress-up and his dog Finnegan, and Chez Elaine. Oh How about the Ben, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe on Dum, dee dee dum, dee dee dum, dee dee dum, Bonanza. I am going to write a screen play about Transit Security: Going to name it Bus Bobbies, Maybe Cool Coach Cops.......... Fat boyz Fat boyz watcha gonna do... Watcha gonna do when the bus comes through.

 

cop shows make me sweaty......

 

Absolutely, and if you get Food Network, you can watch shows where folks either attempt to eat amounts of food that would make a normal person barf, or watch folks eat things that a person should not eat.

A note about PBS. I enjoy many of their programs, as much for the fact that there are few commercials as anything content related. I suppose shows like Nature are always going to have some appeal, and there are some others, but one of the reasons for PBS existence is to give access to those subjects that may be seen as having marginal commercial appeal. With some subjects you can see why, as in the particular show youre watching would get zero air time anywhere else. It's up to you make the call on those. But I'm glad they exist.

Not long ago I started watching news programs via Internet from Europe and elsewhere, while the language barrier can be difficult depending on how many languages you speak, its a great entertainment.

 

Have you ever seen the show Tool Academy? they have a new season Tool Academy 3 | Show Cast, Episodes, Guides, Trailers, Web Exclusives, Previews | VH1.com

It's pretty hilarious and sad at the same time that these guys are the worst boyfriends ever and yet the girls have no self-esteem. Makes for great TV!

 

Thats a category I should have added to my original post , Joey

-The " How Big an Asshat Can a Person Be ?" Reality Show. These include stuff like Jersey Shore and others where the premise is twofold, 1. Look at these furickin idiots, I am so glad my life isnt that screwed up. 2. Mega created drama where some existed but just wasnt enough to keep people interested.

The trouble with these shows is while they are fun for a while, they quickly wear thin, and in order to make any sense whatsoever from them you have to watch them enough to know what's going on, which after a while will make you feel kinda geeky. Heeeheeeheee

But what the hell its only TV.....and while pundits constantly moan about it having no socially redeeming value, it wont change anytime soon.

IMHO the best reality show out there is to leave CNBC or Bloomberg on in the background all day, CNBC has decent looking infobabes, and something is always happening, whether it's " oh shit the sky is falling we're all gonna die the market is down" or " wow we are in economic recovery and the sky's the limit". Then you can watch that Cramer dude.... At least business news is hard news that doesnt repeat itself every 30 minutes like the "news" channels do. Its also enjoyable to listen to the talking head business types they get on there making their predictions and then comparing that to what really happens. Sometimes you get the feeling no one really knows what they are doing out there and its a wonder any money gets made at all.

 

There are secret messages being broadcast all over this land. Watch the weather dudes and chicas. They are not just waving their hands. It's semaphore.