I feel so cheap (RIDE TO TAHOE 2013)

that part will only take him a couple minutes so the pics should be soon...

 

As the "Longest Dong" has started off on, we did a long journey (inferno to hell HOT) ride this weekend. I rode up from San Diego, and picked up Long in Westminster. From there we slabbed it thru SMELL A to Fresno. We made pretty good time on the way up, but we saw (as expected) an asston of fuggen cops. Luckily, we escaped the entire weekend without "performance awards." :smile:

Here is our first stop at Carl's Jr after running the gauntlet of coppers.



Long dong and I waiting for the slackers at In 'N Out. Conveniently, Mr Toecutter, the bastage who gave us the address for the place to meet was somewhat lost and could not find us for another hour as we sat in the blazing Fresno sun...


Some poseur who thinks he can ride.



We were both scared as the infamous "Cutter of the Toe" arrived (the face only a mother could love) :bolt:




There were not many pictures inbetween In N Out and our next stop....the Gold Coin Bar & Grill in Mariposa as it was sweltering and over 100 degrees already and still climbing. The amigos at Mariposa for a soda.



After we were all refreshed and hydrated....we pushed on. We then unknowingly missed a turn (right next to the bar we just left) and proceeded to ride 30 miles down into a canyon next to the Merced river heading into Yosemite. Not only was the heat intensified, but it was very smokey due to the large Yosemite fire. According to our air temp gages, it exceeded 111 in this canyon, with virtually no shade. We then turned around as we could not travel thru Yosemite there due to the fire, so we backtracked and travelled back to Mariposa. We continued on a hwy 49 which was a spectacular road. Fresh pavement, unbelievable never-ending bends, gorgeous views......it was amazing. It would have been more amazing if it was not 110. :faint: lol We took that road and then "half man, half machine" Toe cutter lead us on a death march thru extreme heat and small town traffic jams (it was labor day weekend afterall) and Reggie cursed him out repeatedly for passing a place called "The Glory Hole" on the way. I think Reg is still fuming about that one. From there we were really getting beat down by the heat. Long was so thirsty that he drank donkey urine from a puddle on the side of the road. lol.

Well, once we hit hwy 88, this took us out of the towns, and across the top of northern Yosemite. It had amazing views. Alpine lakes, beautiful views, and best of all, it was now 6pm, and it cooled down to 85-90 degrees and was rapidly dropping. 85-90 felt like 60 to us after dealing with over 100 temps all day.

Here is a viewpoint pic along the way. I really wished we had time for more pictures, but we were tired, running late, and it was getting dark. Not a good thing because of all of the deer and whatnot running across the road. Squirrelman would have been more upset over me hitting the squirrel that almost took me out than me getting injured. lol.



Another pic of the same.



After battling extreme heat, exhaustion, smoke, fires, small animals, we finally made it to "frednacoma" place in Nevada just 40 miles or so south of Reno. We arrived at 8pm....I had started riding at 4am, so I had been on the road riding, or in the sun for 16 hours now. I do not have too many pics of Shannon's place, however, him and his beautiful family were great and made us feel right at home. I think that Long really left us mark on them and they may want to adopt him. I just caution that they drastically increase their homeowners insurance and life insurance if they decide to go that route. lol. Thank you again Shannon for your hospitality and putting up with us drinking all of your beer, Long molesting your dogs, and leaving a mess.

This is me donning a snuggie, and praying that Cutter of the Toe will not have earthquake shattering snoring this night as I am exhausted.



The next day we went up a sweet road up the back side of Lake Tahoe which had amazing views, and perfect pavement. The roads around Tahoe were just amazing, and the views were so spectacular that it was hard to keep your eyes on the road. We made the decision (based on the amount of tourists and traffic around tahoe) to cut the lakeshore touring short and head to Toe's house for beer and refreshments and to jump in his pool. Hwy 50 that we took was another amazing road, and for awhile we had it mostly to ourselves, but then later on it was full of traffic and we had to resort to passing in the pass zones fighting our way thru.

Only picture of lake tahoe....isn't it pretty?? lol


In this pic Long just pooped his pants right after we arrived at John's house just north of his sac(ramento). Apparently, long loves being right above john's sac, so much that he poops his pants in excitement. lol


John's olive trees and huge yard. He had an amazing house and yard.



Reggie still bitchin' to Brian that his bike was not dirty after I had spent and hour washing and scrubbing off 2 years of filth.



After some swimming, and drinkin, John decided it was time to give Long his new bike that he had custom tailored to his size and weight.


I even tested for him just to be sure it was up to snuff.



and then to be really sure it would handle the offroad and all Long could throw at it with Luggage, we had Brooks come over and fully test it for him.



It passed the tests, and now John is readying it for their trip to Cabo for Long.

 

On Sunday, we proceeded to slab it down the 5, then 680, then the 101 south, to a hwy 25...which is a beautiful winding road with little to no traffic...we rode this road to King City, then we due to the heat, and Long's suggestion, we slabbed it the rest of the way to Reggies place.

Here is a pic of Long deciding that busy 5 south freeway is a good of a place as any to piss.



here is a pic of the place we ate at at the start of hwy 25. The 19th Hole....was a good place to eat and escape the heat. Ask for pretty Amanda when you visit. :vanity:





Redneck Farmer Long checking out John's (new to him) FJR.


Overall, it was a great trip, with great friends. I thank Shannon (and family), John (and Marjory), Reg (and Terri), for their hospitality. You are all welcome to crash at my place in SD anytime. Also, thanks to Long and Brian for being a part of this as well.

:vtr2:

 

OK, Here's my take.

Friday 5 am my eyes are open and have been for a while. I decide F it I'm getting up cause I'm planning on getting on the road by 7.

Brian aka SLOVFR is supposed to meet me at 7 to head out. For those of you who don't know, he lives about 1.5 hr away and is notoriously late. Seeing any of the VFRW west coast get together threads and you will see multiple posts of "waiting for Brian...again."

At 6 I figure I better text him just to check. My phone is dead so I send a text from my wife's phone only to find he is still in bed!

Apparently he had a tragic bike dropping incident. He washed his bike for the trip then dropped it. (See why I don't wash my bike, Jason? It's dangerous).

Well, he decides he is going to go ahead and ride up to my place first even though he is munching ibuprofen like chicklets since he hurt his knee in the tragic bike washing incident. He also mentions getting about 3 hours sleep. It's gonna be a fun trip.

Here is his bike taking a nap before the trip.

(After leaving my house we head out to McKittrick where I fuel up for the first time of probably 100 fuel ups) My bike thinks it has a need to taste gas from damn near every station.

 

Anyway, we head on over to Fresno because I am going to look at a new bike. A triumph Tiger 800XC. I have been wanting an adv bike for a while and I found a pretty good deal on one so I wanted to see it in person. Because of Brian's flexible treatment of time schedules, we arrive at the place to view the bike at the same time we were supposed to show at In&Out to meet the other riders.

It's 10 am and already 100 degrees in Fresno. Ahh, lovely Fresno. The city that never sleeps...well not until the crack runs out anyway.

The bike is at a gun shop. Long story. Anyway it looks sharp but I am getting text bombed by Derstuka who is afraid his pussy is going to melt even though he's under a shade tree at In&Out. Turns out we had gone past the exit where they were to go see the bike so we had to backtrack and meet up with them.

Look at this nice shady spot.


Quick gear check and reunion. Been a few months since we all were together at my BBQ.


Ok, up to this point I have neglected to mention my attire. Some of you may remember that I usually wear a black leather jacket and then either leather pants or reinforced riding jeans. Well, due to an unfortunate midsection exapnsion zipper test failure, I could not wear my leather jacket. My only backup is my Aerostich. Those of you who have a stich know what is coming. They are good suits, but they are not known for dispersing heat. They are more know for winter riders.

I looked like an extra for a bad spinoff of star trek and I was hot. It was damn hot. It was so damn hot that I swear there was a little pygmie following me around with a tiki torch under my balls. It was so hot that I saw a rattler burst into flames. It was so hot that Satan chose to stay in hell where it was more comfortable.

I'm going to skip ahead to after we got back on track after the bar stop wrong turn incident and post a pic from one of the nicer sections of road.

 

Toe Cutter (btw the picture is blurry because it was 1000 degrees)


Got good pic of Jason because he saw me and pulled in. He was also nice enough to share some gatorade. We were dying.


SLOVFR


And last but also least (in stature anyway) Long.



Now about 30 miles or so after this we all stop at the end of the road and proceed to drink all the fluids we have and consider collecting our urine in empty bottles just in case. To Cutter says no worries, there are several places to stop coming up on the next road. Meanwhile he never removes his black leather jacket whilst sitting in the sun. (I'm beginning to think he is aboriginal).

Anyway we all head out again. Long is about to die. I can barely focues and John proceeds to pas around 40 odd places with signs like "Ice cold drinks here", "Cool Beer", "Food & Drinks", "Free Sex". Ok, not the last one, bu the cool drinks sounded better at that point anyway. Finally, I had to make an executive decision and say fuck all of you and pull over. Brian and Long saw me, Brian pulled over, Long kept going with John. Jason turned around and came back. We all topped off and then bought up all the gatorade and other miscellaneous beverages the quickee mart had. I have never drunk a gatorade so fast.

We end up texting back and forth while we wait and figure Long and John are heading on to Shannon's. We debate for about 30 minutes on whether to just grab a hotel and a 12 pack. We have already seen several pools and Jason has been awake for about 14 hours at this point.

Me pulled over trying to figure out where I left everyone.






Somehow I managed to blow right past Long and John who were stopped somewhere. I thought they were already at Shannon's so I am blasting this road like it's my bitch. I look in the rearview and there is no one...and I mean no one to be seen. I have passed several cars, trucks, etc. Well, I realize I'm getting tired so I better slow down. After I slow down, I start thinking maybe something happened so I turn around and head back. About 10 minutes later I meet them all going the other direction including Long and John who I thought we in Nevada already. At this point, I am friggen ready to be done. They are hauling ass, but that doesn't stop me from busting a U and catching them up in less than a minute.