Fire starter, proper way to handle

OK, before I unleash the fear of god on my youngest step daughter in the morning. What is the best way to deal w/ a child that has tried to burn your house down.
Playing with or by a candle my wife had burning started a paper towel on fire, then put it in the garbage. Not telling her mother what had happened until the can started on fire. This is the second time I have come home in my eight years of ownership, to find someone had started a fire in my house; kinda sick if it, been there done that thing. The soda ash all over the place from the extinguisher gave it away (that stuff is a pain to clean up).
So before I get midevil on her(which is the way I'm leaning now) what would be the better way to approach the situation so that it does not occur again. She also likes to play with gasoline, thank God she hasn't played w/ gasoline & fire @ the same time yet. Make you responses appropriate for a seven year old, & she is the girl that does & seemingly always will have to learn things the hard way. :flame: :flame: :flame: :mad2: :frusty: :drama:

 

She is curious. You must satisfy her curiosity. Take her camping and make a campfire. Show her how dangerous it is.

I hate saying it this way (using the word "play"), but you must make her understand.

Tell her that she can only "play" with fire when camping and when you are around. "Playing" with fire at home is strictly forbidden.

After we had 3 children we stopped using candles - period. Matches are in a childproof drawer along with the lighters. The only fire my kids see is on their birthday cake.

 

Take her to a burn unit, have her talk with some of the people there, I was burned 27% in a methanol fire, Nov. 20th,04.

I am very lucky, only 5 months of surgeries, and skin grafts, back to 95% motion with my right arm.

Maybe if you can make her see the danger in what she is doing it will have an impact.

All the burn survivors I have met are more than willing to help others, and tell about how fast things happen, and will change your life forever in seconds.

Good luck, for what its worth, I wouldn't go off the deep end on her, my girls listen more when I am calm, but not an easy thing to do tho in situations like this.

 

I managed to keep my wits about this morning, after finding out exactly what had transired from my wife. She was scared & genuienly remorseful, so I just told her I expected her to clean up the soda ash that was all over everything before TV & playing on the computer & that I never wanted anything like that to happen again( remained extremely calm too!). I like the burn unit idea, I'll have to see if the hospital my wife works @ has one. As far as the campfire idea she has been around plenty & has been told time & time again not to play w/ fire, just doesn't seem to sink in.

 

:smile: CONGRATULATIONS on keeping your !!

A VERY hard thing to do,, glad to hear that all went well, and there was remorse on her part, that means alot. :biggrin: Aren't kids fun??

 

The burn unit is a really good idea. You might also take her to visit the fire department to talk with some of the firemen (tell them why you want her to talk with them). They may also have some suggestions. I'm sure they've delt with this kind of many times. Hope all works out well.

 

I was a fire bug growing up..... I set my room on fire 3 times at 2 different houses and burnt down a good section of the woods behind my house. Im not sure what my parents did to to stop me Im sure they tries to hide matches ect.... at some point I guess I just grew out of it.
How does she "play" with gasoline??

 

Let her walk through a burned out house. I worked as a mover several years ago, and had to move the remaining furniture out of burned houses. That'll make you go home and unplug everything not in use. If she sees some kids toys all burned up, she'll think twice before fooling with fire again. Good Luck!

 

Dumps it the pool, on the side walk, mixes it w/ potting soil, puts it in cups & throws it her brothers; I think that about covers it. With out question this one is controllable, but occasionally my wife or I forget to put the gas can away after mowing the lawn & leave out by the mowers. Like I said luckily she hasn't mixed the two together yet.

She does the same kind of stuff w/ household spray cleaners & she knows better, somethings just not wired quite right between the knowing better & doing better.

 

Getting too mad at her will let your daughter know that is a great way to piss off Dad. don't know what the right mad is. but some kinda mad from Mom and Dad, even if she gets a tad sad will make you glad in the long run.

I do know that I'm often on a high carbon diet at home, so am pretty familiar with girls that burn stuff... grilled cheese, spaghetti, hotpads stuck to the bottom of the canning pot, anything in the enclosed part of the oven.... they don't outgrow it apparently (just kidding dear :smile

 

Ahhh....so your wife/girl monitors your posts too. I get yelled @ all the time about stuff I've posted, hasn't caught on yet that I don't think being "spied" on is funny or cute. :juggle: ( it is a public forum....but......)

 

I don't *think* I'm being monitored... that's just a pre-positioned apology...just incase ;-)