Humor Thread

We were sitting in an ice cream place 2 winters ago in Arizona eating ice cream and a guy comes in all bundled up and starts to say " Man the weather.." then he stops and looks at us in our short sleeves eating ice cream and says "why am i asking you guys"

 

Went to visit a relatives grave near Chicago a few years ago, I think it was in October.
All bundled up against the (to me) cold I went into the office to ask where the grave was.
They said, you're not from around here, are you? How did they know? LOL.

 

OK, OK!!! So having a child later in life might not be all that good after all! Especially if you wait until you're deep into your 60's!!!
Friends of ours who only recently retired regretted never having any children. They do have three cars, a cottage and travel extensively ... and now ... they decided with all the new technology regarding fertility ... that they would like to enjoy having children. Both are over 65 and we told them ... not to get their hopes up.
Well, that was a few months ago, and guess what ... they went out and did it ... they now have a baby albeit by artificial insemination and with a surrogate ... but genetically the child is theirs ...
We just had to go over for a visit but since they were having a few problems putting the house together (kid-safe and stuff) and having support workers in to show them how to care for the child we had to wait a month or two.
Well, yesterday we went over to see how the happy parents were doing ...
'May I see the new baby?' I asked
'Not yet,' said the new dad ... 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'
Thirty minutes had passed, and my wife asked ... 'May we see the new baby now?'
'No, not yet,' the new mom said.
After another few minutes had elapsed,
I asked again, 'May we see the baby now?'
'No, not yet,' replied our friends.
Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can we see the baby?'
'WHEN HE CRIES!' the new mom replied ...!.
'WHEN HE CRIES?' I said ... 'Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?'
'BECAUSE WE FORGOT WHERE WEI PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

 

"Look at that! That is a really odd looking goatee!"

 

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like 'yes, I see,' and 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.'

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "No shit, what happened next?"

 

Admin must be out for you, see 4 X’d out post.
Gee wonder who that could be?


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Must be on your end. His post are showing up on this side.

 

I went back a couple pages and it looks like 5 photos were deleted. Posts I found were 6102, 6107, 6113, 6118, and 6120. I didn't go back any further than that. I wonder if maybe I just copied and pasted a photo instead of saving and uploading the photo from my computer. I dunno. I don't think any of the photos I posted would offend anyone on this site.

Except maybe that one I posted of Reg in a very tight leather suit and Stuke on the nude.

 

Weird settings must of changed on my phone since I’ve not been here forever.
I’ll try my laptop
Thanks D


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COP26

 

Not much different than today.