Humor Thread

Tesla in full autonomous mode - looks like somebody developing it has a grudge ..

 

Thank God. A way to stop the Feds 5g Skynet from tracking us.

 

That's going to hurt for a while.

 

Dig a little.

 

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”

The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

 

This may be a repeat but WTH:

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy
boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

*Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,
"Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked
back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.Again he asked
Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different
NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's
different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be
hanging down again tomorrow.

"Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY
IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.

 

I have a secret family seasoning for burgers. I would be an ass if I did not let you try it. It may give you gas though.

 

That's it Randy, you are no longer invited to the BBQ!!!