What's the right punishment!

I really felt for the proud owner of this lovely Fi when I spotted this today....
https://mol.im/a/7630145

 

tie him to a chair and get a blow torch a 22oz hammer and a pair of pliers and go to work. thieving scum.

 

I'ma get medieval on your ass.

 

Sound proof room , baseball bat and 15 minutes

 

What a fooking Loser. All bike thieves go to Hell.

 

Use that grinder on his stretched out pekker. The scrotum's next.

 

Easy.
My bikes have GPS trackers that I know a thief won't find unless they strip the entire bike to bare frame. Probably not even then.
They also have a note under the seat saying " if you read this, do yourself a favour and turn yourself in to the police. I already know where you are and I will be bringing a few friends".

Pretty sure these little turds won't be too happy seeing 50 patched bikers roll up on their doorstep.
Police don't care about stolen vehicles, so I see no reason to involve them.

 

Bike thieves deserve to have their nuts squeezed flat in a fucking vice. They are scum, and deserve to be dealt with like scum.

Jose

 

Kind of Viking justice? Lol

 

Best solution for me is finding a way of making sure they get caught. If only we could find a way

 

A boobie trap that sets off with an alarm and malachite green when the bike is moved without a key. Then call the cops. Don't know where you would get the malachite green though. That shit washed off only if you use a random orbital sander with 60 grit sand paper. But that tends to remove digits and hair follicles...most of the remainder of the shin as well.

 

We don't come alone.
We are fire, we are stone.
We're the hand that quickly writes and moves away.

We write what you guys said. Die die die!