Humor Thread

The humor is it’s not a VFR

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I want one.

 

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.


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I just had to re-post that one.

 

And they charge you an additional $15.00 for a snack and drink when they come around with their carts to "offer" you refreshments and a snack. Love it.

 

Here's where that one Like per post restriction really chaps my hide!!!

 

The sad part is she's not riding me... :sad: haha

 

Just heard this Tom Segura story/bit:



and the followup

 

I told my wife I wanted to go out and buy some nice whicker. She thought is was a grand idea. She wanted to know what I had in mind so I showed her this.

I am having PB&J sandwiches for dinner tonight....maybe tomorrow too.

 

You should know better at your age. LMAO.

 

There is actually some substance there. My daughter is s Nurse Practicioner and when she is pulled over (rarely) she casually drops that she's on her way to work in the emergency room (she doesn't work in one) and she never gets ticketed. Cops don't always thinks rationally. Power corrupts.

 

I was always very comfortable with giving warnings to who I did. Never lost a wink of sleep. Sometimes it was to assholes. But there was always a reason. Like it or not, I do not care. I had the same discretion when I gave out a discount working retail as well. Or at home when someone comes to my front door asking for a donation to charities.

 

Sure it's not a bitch barn?

 

one of the funniest gifs I've seen in awhile... I think they are at some kind of eating contest... ? the more I watch it and see the guy in the black shirt reaction, the funnier it gets...

 

Call my psycho but this is (the bottom picture) another one that gets funnier the more I look at it (sympathetic muscle response from mom while swinging center child ends up causing her to fumble the younger child - younger child probably has never been launched like that before, doesn't know any better, and simply maintains his cradled body position as he's flying through the air, looking like he's going to be taking a header into the sand in the immediate future - the horrified/terrified expression on mom's face in stark contrast to the dad being, of course, simply clueless to everything... haha)







FWIW, the article states that the kid was fine...

 

Like going to a post mortem and seizing stomach samples for analysis at the lab. This is awesome Samuel