Humor Thread

Looks like an air bagger.

 

Awsome!

 

Is swimming in debt a decent way to get a good cardio workout?

 

Nah, if that were true then the USA wouldn't have an obesity epidemic.

 

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Ya git any Heinz Ketchup for that?

 

I asked the dentist is her job was tough.
She said, oh yeah, it's like pulling teeth.

 

Irony: A bald man winning a life time's supply of hair grooming services and products.

 

RORFLMAO.

 

Boat Intercepted Off the West Coast


The US Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the West coast today. This placed the Navy in an awkward position as the boat was not heading to the USA , but to Mexico and Central America.

Another surprise finding was the people were white Canadian retirement age seniors. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Central America or Southern Mexico as they wanted to return to Canada as illegal immigrants. Then they would be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate Canadian retirees.

It is believed the Navy gave them food, water and fuel and assisted them on their journey.

I am booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to join me.

 

A little girl goes into a pet shop and asked the shop keeper "Excuth me. Do you have any widdle white wabbits here?"

The shop keepers heart melts and he gets down on a knee so he is speaking to her at the same level and says to her "do you want a widdow white wabbit of a thoft fluffy bwack one, or one like that widow fluffy bwown one over there?"

The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels with her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers, "I don't wealy fink my anaconda gives a phuk."

 

A woman goes in to see her doctor and says to him, "doc. I have a awful discharge and it is itchy"

Doctors tells her, "OK. Remove your knickers and get up on the examination table. Spread your legs and we will have a look see. Doctor has a look and a good feel around. "How does that feel?"

"Wonderful doc, but the discharge is in my ear."