Humor Thread

Next up for our more fashionable men who are lacking judgement and self respect.

 

I really can't understand this move towards gated communities. I kinda like my freehold house

 

Nice one Randy!

Here's an oldie:



and FWIW, I'm not talking crap about BJJ, I roll too...

 

My wife rolled over in the middle of the night last night, gently caressed my arm and whispered into my ear, "honey. I just had a dream where you bought me the most gorgeous diamond necklace. It was so beautiful."

I rolled over to face her and softly said, "Go back to sleep and wear it."

 

April Fools Day has been cancelled this year. There is no way in hell that any made up prank could match any of the real shit that is happening in our nations capitols right now.

 

The wife is really pissed off at me again. Last night, while she was sleeping, I gently removed her feminine napkin and replaced it with a party popper, leaving the string hanging out. I'm telling you. She has absolutely no sense of humour at all really.

 

Oh my.

 

My first wife once said to me after stepping out of the shower and standing in the bedroom stark naked, "Honey. Please close the curtains. I don't want the neighbours to see me with no clothes on."

I told her, "Don't worry. If the neighbours see you naked, they will shut their own guddam curtains."

 

The driver obviously does this a lot

 

I did the same thing years ago. We were renovating a nightclub in the Nashville Hyatt, and we're running behind schedule. A couple of our young workers had to drive up to a carpet mill South Carolina in my Ford van to get it, couldn't wait to have it shipped. They put two big rolls in the van with a fork lift, and then they drove back. When they got back it was obvious we had a problem since we didn't have a fork lift. I backed into the loading dock, then drove forward, put it in reversed and backed up as fast as I could and then jammed on the brakes. Bingo, out they slid onto the loading dock!

 

That won't work driving a ten ton beer truck and trying to unload ten skids of bottled beer stacked on skids eight layers high. Make a hell of a mess. Of course, I was told this.

 

Probably couldn’t drink it for a week!

 

This is pretty good...

 

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153555693573135

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Gotta love This Old Tony...