Humor Thread

When it comes to camping and mosquitoes, that would be a perfect image of my wife. Except it would be set up in the fifth wheel not outside.

 

Subject: Living Will

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

 

Cop: Do you have a Police record?
No, but I have a Sting CD.

 

Why not another one...

An old lady had a Harley and wanted to join the hell's angles.
She went down to their hang out and knocked on the door.
A big burly dude opened the door and said "Yeah what da ya want?!"
The old gal told him she wanted to join the angels.
When asked what gave her the idea she qualified to join the group she said she smoked five packs of unfiltered Camels and drank two fifths of whiskey a day and she rode a Harley.
The dude asked "ya ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The tough old broad said "No but I've been swung around by my titties a couple of times."

 

Logo fail. Either someone had too much fun, or is so into Jazz they completely missed it...

 

Is sure doesn't help that he has a lot of little stains in the front of his shirt... Jus sayin.

 

Proof that Florence was a dick, and possibly has gender identity issues.

 

My girlfriend came out of the shower and said "I shaved my pussy, you know what that means?

I said "yeah, the drain is clogged again. "

 

There is just nothing more enjoyable and pleasant that to be awakened by the sensation you feel with an unexpected sexual encounter. Unless you are in prison.

 

Should be a hot babe wearing that shirt
Like her



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Are those put on with a brush or rattle can?

 

A Baptist preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas .
After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which
was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a similar
drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage
of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the
attendant and said,

"Me too, I didn't know we had that choice."

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/comments/9i13h5/welp_called_that_one/

Tongue.

 

I don't get it! LOL

 

You have tap on the photo to play video

 

Love how the guy actually tried to blow it out.


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