You Know You're Getting Old When:

That's commonly called a "shart".

 

You know you're getting old when one huge fart throws your back out for days.

 

AKA -gambling and losing .

 

Yes, I have heard of and tried the shart. No bueno.
If you like to gamble. Lemmy is your man.
You win some, you lose some, it's all the same to me.

 

you get more enjoyment from a good shit than sex..


I was 17 when a older gentleman told me that 35yrs ago...thought it was funny then, now even funnier

 

You know you're getting old when you read @34468 Randy signature 3 times before it registers Iron Butt Association instead of Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

 

Aaaaahm. Both apply.

 

You know you're getting old when you are getting thicker than your hair

 

You know you're getting old when someone says, "you need the spoon" you know what that means.

 

Your nose and p*bic hairs turn white!

 

You know you are getting old when you go to a strip club just to be at least less than 4ft away from a real naked woman!;-)

 

You know your getting old when a freakin AARP card shows up with your name on it.
What the hell do I do with it now ☹️


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You know you're getting old when you qualify for the senior citizen's age grant on your property taxes. I am not there yet, but getting close. Some places offer senior's discounts at 55 YOA. Just have to ask I guess. Mu Scottish heritage demands I get as much as I can for the money I spend. My success rate with that is questionable.

 

Old is having the keys in yer hand but forgetting where you parked. Or finding your bike but can't find the keys.

 

Any time I take the bike on a ride out of town, I take two sets of keys. Won't help me fond the bike but it will allow me to start it when I do find it. But sometimes it is a bitch hen I take along two sets of keys for the truck instead of the bike though.

 

When the Fatburger gave me the senior discount without even mentioning it.
Maybe I look older when hungry.

 

If those buggers ever give me smaller portions, I will rip their precious little fingers off.

 

You know you're getting old when...

You're convinced people are taking your tools.

I'm 99% certain that someone stole my splitting maul.

I'll let you know when I find it...