You Know You're Getting Old When:

that doesn't make you old, it just makes you an alcoholic~

 

Or when you go to the store but forget the pajama bottoms.

 

Having to stop to pee every 20 minutes or so of ride...And your wrists & knees hurt after said time of ride.

 

When you walk out to your motorcycle with your key in hand and forget why you're there...........

 

Or you are unable to start your truck with you bike keys. Wait. Thats when you're pissiderized.

 

You know your old when your shits feel better than your orgasms when you're done.

 

............. When you (and your family) come to the realization that the smell of BenGay is no longer offensive and hardly even noticable.

 

You know you are getting old when your grown up kids start hinting that you should sell the house and buy something without stairs.

 

My parents came to that realization all on their own............. But the thought has crossed MY mind in the last while

 

You know you are getting old when you call your wife to come pick you and the kids up from the other side of the neighborhood after trick or treating because you are too tired to walk the 1/2 mile home.

 

You know you are getting old when you regale your spouse with tails of your last bowel movement and she returns the favor!

To quote Meg from Family Guy "This morning, I had a hard poo that hurt. But then it felt great!"

 

You know you're getting old when you let your insurance lapse for the winter instead of re-upping and riding all year long!

 

That sounds amazingly and recently familiar.

 

You know you are getting old when you forget where and when you said something. Write it down! Looks like I may have to start carrying a notebook again. Thought after 35 years I finally got away from that.

 

You know you're getting old when everything either dies up or leaks. I just spent nearly 6 days in the hospital with a saline solution hooked up feeding and hydrating me yet they had to try a dozen times to find and vein large enough to take the needle. Five attempts failed. Even with that finally hooked up, drinking lots of water and being on a liquid diet for nearly the whole time, my pecker was spouting like an elephant's trunk, yet I was still too dried up to shit until the 5th day when I had to eat about a dozen prunes to get things moving. Fuck!

 

Sucks getting old huh? When I was in the hospital they wouldn't let me leave without a dropping the kids off at the pool, so I lied.......said I forgot they had to account fer it.
Hope your Okay Randy

 

You know you are getting old when you forget your pin number at the gas pump and then remember it while you are driving off.

 

Go figure, forget the pin but I bet you never miss a note or lyric huh BJ?

 

Or you tightly roll up that "tie in the back" gown you've been wearing for several days, and leave it on the chair for the nurse, fearing she will discover that little spot that appeared when you farted after eating all those prunes to get you going.

 

You know you're getting old when you find yourself comparing nose hair trimmers because you're not happy with your current one.