You have Got To be F***ing Kidding Me

I wish I could make this up...

Da CLIK!

Woman says 3D porno made her pregnant

Husband claims "anything is possible"
07 May 2010 13:45 | by Dean Wilson | posted in Internet

An American woman claims she became pregant after watching a 3D porno.

US military man Erick Jhonson came home from a stint in Iraq to find that his wife was pregnant. Clearly he assumed she had an affair, but his wife Jennifer claims the “other man” was actually someone a little less physical.

It seems he actually buys her story, however. “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible,” he said.

What's even more interesting is that both Jennifer and Erick are white, but the child is black. Jeniffer claims the kid looks like the black pornstar she had been ogling. She also claims this was one of the first times she's watched porn and only went with friends for the 3D effect. TechEye did a survey of one person and found 100 percent would say the same thing in a similar situation.

“Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk,” Jennifer said. “But he knows I’m faithful.” It just shows you what joining the military does to your head.

Jennifer explained that “a month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” That must have been one good porno.

3D movies have gained renewed popularity since Avatar, but there have been some concerns raised over how bad they may be for your eyes. Now you'll have to worry about conceiving in the cinema.

You may have jumped when an object in film was thrown at the camera, but now you'll have to be careful of other, far more uncouth things flying at you. TechEye recommends contraception for your next trip to the cinema. You never know.

 

That is one lying f*cked up biatch! And one dumb arse hubbie! They deserve each other.

 

Is this from a southern state? This husband must not only be hard up but really stupid too. Hmmm, imaculate pornifacation.

 

How many bytes of sperm are required to make a woman pregnant?

 

If this shiet is for real then Im getting a porn with Angalina Jolie, Meagan Fox, and Eva Mendez!!!!

 

I think this is a grudge pregnancy. While hubbie was away in the military, somebody must of had it in for him.

 

no really jen...Its the realism of the movie that your feeling..... doesn't that feel real...yeah baby feel that realism.....


What a fuking retard her husband is....... how can good smart people die and dumb asses like this survive.... please don't let him breed

 

Well Stupid me. I clicked the link and there is 15 minutes of my life I will never get back. But the gullibility of everyone who responded to that post on the link is definitely frightening My fucking oath.

BTW Spell check no longer highlites "fucking"

 

Like I often do, I weep for society...

KC-10 FE out...
lane: :usa2:

 

Is the husbands name Charlie and is he a Rode Island Highway Patrol motor officer?? No wait, that was "Me, Myself & Irene"...

 

How The Onion isn't behind this I don't know.

-Jake

 

bulid it idiot proof, the world will build a better idiot.

 

I'm guessing the father of the child is named Jody?

 

Wanted to quote all of you....but enough said aboot humping kin folk.

 

This really does have the stink of The Onion.

BZ

 

We should all thank Cyborg for sharing.

 

For simply total absence of any form of common sense, one just can't beat the Federal Government...

Da CLIK!

Government Sues Trucking Company for Taking Keys Away From Alcoholic Driver

By Stephen Clark

Published September 02, 2011

FoxNews.com

In this May 6, 2011 file photo, a trucker, seen in a security mirror, passes through an inspection booth for commercial traffic heading north into the U.S. from Mexico at the World Trade Bridge in Laredo, Texas.

Citing a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act, the Obama administration is suing a trucking company for taking the keys away from an Arkansas driver and eventually firing him after he admitted he was battling alcohol abuse.

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed a lawsuit this week arguing that Old Dominion Freight Line discriminated against Charles Grams by stripping him of his position and offering him a demotion even if he completed a substance abuse counseling program.

Instead, the EEOC argued, the North Carolina-based company, which has a service center in Arkansas, should have complied with the law, known as the ADA, while ensuring safety.

“The ADA mandates that persons with disabilities have an equal opportunity to achieve in the workplace,” said Katharine Kores, director of the EEOCs Memphis District Office, which covers Arkansas. “While the EEOC agrees that an employer’s concern regarding safety on our highways is a legitimate issue, an employer can both ensure safety and comply with the ADA.”

The EEOC says alcoholism is a recognized disability under the ADA and that the company violated the law with its policy that bans any driver who admits alcohol abuse from driving again.

The EEOC wants the company to reinstate Grams and another affected driver to their previous positions and provide them with back pay, compensatory and punitive damages and compensation for lost benefits. The EEOC is also seeking to block the company’s alcohol-related policy.

The company's policy bans any driver who self-reports alcohol abuse from driving again. Reassignment to a non-driving position is contingent upon the driver enrolling in a treatment program.

Joel McCarty, general counsel to Old Dominion, wouldn’t comment on the details of the pending litigation. But he told FoxNews.com, “We intend to vigorously defend our position.”

When asked to respond to EEOC’s comments and rationale behind the lawsuit, McCarty said, “Obviously, we disagree with their position totally.”

“Our concern is safety,” he said. “And that’s why we intend to defend the policy.”

According to the EEOC’s suit, Grams, who had been with Old Dominion for five years without incident, informed the company in June 2009 that he believed he had an alcohol problem.

The company suspended him from his driving position, which paid him nearly $22 per hour, including benefits. In compliance with U.S. Transportation Department regulations, Grams met with a substance abuse professional who notified the company that Grams would participate in an outpatient treatment program and could return to work.

But Old Dominion told Grams that he wouldn’t be allowed to drive again for the company and instead offered him a part-time position as a dock worker as soon as it became available. The position paid $12 per hour without benefits, the lawsuit alleges.

Grams then decided he couldn't afford treatment because he believed he would have to pay for it upfront and be reimbursed by his insurance company only if it approved the treatment. Instead, he joined Alcoholics Anonymous. Old Dominion fired him in July for job abandonment.

The EEOC contends that the company's actions deprived Grams and other affected drivers of "equal employment opportunities and otherwise adversely affect their status as employees, in violation of the ADA."

"Grams is a qualified individual with a disability under ADA ... who can perform the essential functions of a driving position," the suit says, adding that Grams and other employees wouldn't need treatment to perform non-driving duties.

The ADA, first passed by Congress in 1990 and updated in 2008, originally defined disability as “a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits a major life activity.” Earlier this year, the EEOC issued sweeping new regulations offering guidance on how to define “disability” under the law.

When a worker meets the definition, employers must provide reasonable accommodations. For years, employers and employees have clashed over who truly qualifies for the sometimes-costly modifications to workplace duties and schedules.

 

OK, now I'm fucktarding.