Dear Randy

I must agree. That a personage of Randy's esteemedness would choose to spend his time helping fellow riders is, well, heartwarming to say the least. This places Randy in the top echelon of peoples.

Kudos to the Presidential Prime Minister, and many thanxes as well!

 

The prevoius two post display the classic symptoms of person's who will do thier best find common ground with those who are of the profession who enforce laws put in place by elected officials. This is commonly referred to as "SUS". Many believe this is short for "Suspect' when in fact it is a acronym for Sucking Up Syndrom. These people commonly believe that the enforcement of traffic laws and the resulting funds collected from fines go to bolstering local government coffers. This simply in not true. Fine monies are collected and put aside for uses that are of bennifit to the community as a whole. It goes to such programs as getting the LEO off the road by offering him a pension at early retirement. Portions also go towards providing free refreshements to LEO's at the annual Policeman's Ball.

On behalf of all retired LEOs out there, I want to thank you very much. My pension buys me a lot of toys.

Joey....if you ever find your way out here to the west coast of Canada, I do have an arrangement in place to come out of retirement to greet you personally. :wink:

 

that was utterly devastating. i've NEVER been called a SUS before. i don't know if i can ever recover from this. maybe is should write to Dear Randy.
oh screw it, i'm gonna go ride my bike...

 

Randy is a crazy canuk and a great one. One of this day I will head out to Canada to drink brandy and smoke a good cigar with him. See you in SLO 2010
BTW....... Dear Randy I have a serious problem, What ever toys I see out there I want them so what should I do. And if I bought some thing is that mean I am supporting the economy and help Obama achive his dream?

 

Dear Randy, I have this ongoing fear and extreme hatred towards Jack Russel Terriers, ( I believe you know what I'm talking about) , I've tried to relieve my aggression on various members of the deer, moose and bear families with different methods of dispensing them,compound bow, 300 win mag, 12 ga, hell , even a supersonic speed airgun. Alas, this has not satisfied my need to exact revenge on the little nad biters. My question is this, what firearm would you suggest for one of these vicious beasts, H&K SL-8, in .223, Rem 700 in 300 Winmag, Benelli M-4 in 12 ga. or the silent but deadly Hoyt Katera. I can't consider the handguns because as we all know here in Canuckistan these cannot be used for hunting and are relegated to the status of "safe queens" until we get a CCW law in this country.
Please advise, I get so confused staring into my gun room not knowing which toy to play with, they all look so lonely.................

 

The desire to own toys is deep rooted. A person displying an extreme desire to own everything is likely due to oppression he or she experiences at the hands of his/her parents when they were younger. Long, I believe you were probably kept at bay by your parents who locked you in a closet the majority of the time when you were a child in their feeble attempts to cure you of your want of materialistic things. They probably feed you a steady diet of rice, and to slow down your consumption, made you eat it with little sticks instead of a fork.

You are an adult now. You can make decisions as to what and when you aquire your "toys" It is important though that you not go seriously in debt to aquire these items. This is not what your President Obama has in mind to bring the US out of this global recession. Pay cash. You will stimulate the economy while not further creating a debt problem. Don't have the cash? Pimp yourself out. It won't be just the economy you stimulate. You live in SF don't you?

BTW. You are welcome here anytime.

 

A quandry to be sure. First thing one must when they find themselves in this particular situaltion is re focus. Broaden your horizons to take in all eventualities. Instead of focusing on the Jack Russel, use som eimaginative measures. To be sure, The Jack will always be there. But with a simple change of one word, everything changes. Think Jack Daniels.

Now the other issue. Yes, Canuckistan, formerly the tiny nation of Canabodia, has Firearms Legislations that hampers many in thier beliefs on Firearm Ownership. But this is not a firearm:YouTube - LRAD Sound Weapon... Not so bad! G20 Scenes from Lawrenceville

 

Hokie pokie

Dear Randy,

Pardon me if you have already answered this question, but I have to kow and you have almost all the answers.

Is the hokie pokie what it is all about?????

 

Dear Randy,

I am usually content and have very few problems in my life. I took up smoking cigars, drinking too much, gambling and womanizing, in the hopes of becoming unhealthy and miserable, but that has only made me happier.

What am I doing wrong?

 

The Hokie Pokie is a ritual practiced by only the most intelectual people. It is one of the most secretive and sacred rituals a person can perform. But it must be done right. Failure to to the Hokie Pokie in the precise manner will lead to certain appendages becoming inactive and rotting to the point they fall off the body. Then you must squat to pee. Then again, maybe you already do this not that there is anything wrong with that. I am sure your wife would appreciate this amnner anyways.

 

You seem to be a man with his life set down in good order. But you want some adventure in your otherwise boring life. This is why you have chosen to take a few risk with the cigars and all. To succeed in making your life a bit on the miserable side, try this:

1. Leave your cigars out in the sun for two weeks befroe you smoke them.
2. Switch to blended scotch, or even better, Bourbon.
3. Use only M&M's to gamble with. Green ones only.
4. Womanize only with women who are over 85 years of age.
5. Strike your thumb with a hammer.
and last but not least, if all this fails, get married.

Good luck.

 

Dear Randy:

There's a profound mystery that has been haunting me nearly my entire life. It keeps me awake nights trying to fathom its meaning, and I fear insanity is fast approaching. Can you end this torture and explain to me just why it was that Jimi Hendricks felt it necessary to excuse himself before he kissed the sky?

Useless in Seattle,

Flashback Jack

 

Jimmie's earl demise is not really factual. He is still with us. One needs to break down and disect one of his writings to get a true understanding of what may have happened and where Jimmie really is.

Purple Haze is commonly believed to be a psychedelic reference to fog. But the word "haze" has other meaningsa as well. It may refer to one's mental confusion such as you are suggesting you are beginning to encounter. "Haze' also has a ritual meaning, as in, a person may get hazed. The process of hazing is to subject a person to pranks and humiliating horseplay. This is a ritual practiced by many Navies when a sailors first crossing of the equator takes place. He is ritually hazed in a very public manner on ship by his ship mates.

Now to this you need to add the word Purple. Purple in fact is not a colour but a combinatin of two of the base colours, But for the sake of arguement here, we will call it a colour. History has indicated to us that this colour was traditionally worn by royalty or the Soveriegn. Thus came the phrase "born to purple". But today the colour purple is closely associated with those who live an alternative lifestyle. This was beginning to show up just about the time Jimmie recorded this song.

So what happened to Jimmie? Was/is he living an alternative lifestyle somewhere after he was forced into this mode by being hazed? Is he still walking around his grandmothers old restaurant in downtown Vancouver in disguise? Is he planning on coming out in public again, having been secretely married to Sir Elton John all these years. What a foopa. Gay inter-racial old musicians who can no longer smoke dope cause it will interfer with their inhalers they need to breath.

Go see your doctor. You need pills.

I see you signed yourself "Useless in Seattle" You should shorten that signature by eliminating the last two words.

If all else fails, drink more beer.

 

Dear Randy,

The other day my significant other was complaining of an "itch" "down there." Being a caring person, I felt obligated and happy to help relieve her of her "itch." After helping her, she said that the "itch" was much less and felt better so I continued to help relieve her of said "itch." While things seem to be improving for her, I have also developed said "itch." Making matters worse, it seems that the more I help relieve her of said "itch", the worse my "itch" gets and she doesn't seem to be able to help me with it like I have her. What should I do here? It almost seems as if this itch gets passed from person to person and as it gets better for the one that had it first, it gets worse for the person relieving the "itch." Does logic follow that if I were able to relieve her of said "itch" but seemed to catch it from her that I need to find some other woman that is capable of relieving this "itch".

Sincerely,

Caught an itch

 

a friend once told me a blow job cures all. Is that true? If so, how can I prove it to my wife, or talk her into it?

 

To reduce the itchy feeling your woman may be experiencing, give her a liberal applicatin of this product directly to the itch. Twice a day for two weeks.

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/urdefense_2077_16124334

For yourself, transferred itch is easily removed with this de-appliction devise:

Bosch 1295D Random Orbital Sander - NewWoodworker.com LLC

Have plenty of fluids and towels handy during treatment though.

 

I am surprised you are asking me that question when the answer has been readily available to you on many occassions. And right before your eyes. Next time, just ask him if it is all better.

 

I said wife!

 

Dear Randy,

How does it feel to need, even if need = want?

Signed,

I need to know

 

Dear Randy, (Oh and ah... First Time Longtime)

Anyway, You see...It's like this... My Wife's in-laws have been pressuring us to go to their place in NC...(We are located in New Hampshire.) I put my foot down and said that if I could not bring my VFR we could not go... My wife told me if I could build a trailer to do it I could bring it.....

My question is...Who the hell is this person claiming to be my wife.. And where is my real wife now?

Oh and know anybody in that area that can clue me in on some good routes?