Dear Randy

vfourbear...

You've done it again with your new avatar! There's nothing sexier than two young hotties lighting beer farts. I'm getting all tingly just thinking about it. They're probably married, though. It seems all the good ones are taken. Maybe I should consult Dear Randy?

 

I would..........

 

Dear Randy,

My now ex-girlfriend just started dating another girl. Says she doesn't think we should have sex anymore. She says it feels like she's cheating on her girl. How do I get both of them in bed?

-Double Frustrated in Phx.

 

Explain to her you don't have to have sex with her. You can have sex with her girlfriend. Technically this should be OK. Suggest to your old girlfriend that you will bring along your new girlfriend and make it a foursome. Just like a round of golf. Good wholesome exercise. And your win win win.

 

Hi Randy,
do bikers do "it" better ? In case of "yes" answer, could you explain why ?
Lamps to all Viffers..
Ciao, Carmine.

 

Randy,

I've just had sex with my ex girlfriend's girlfriend. My ex was there watching. My ex wants to get back together but I like my ex's girlfriend more. What should I do?

-Wacked in Phx.

 

Dear Randy,

Did you mean "muff said"? :biggrin:

 

It is not proper to compare one group of people to another when it comes to doing it. Each group really make up the mosaic of their society and environment. So. Bikers from the north of Canada for instance would be better at it than those in the southern warm climates. One reason would be that most of the year is is very cold and they are inclined to remain in doors where it is more conducive to doing it while the southern bikers are more likely to be out on the road with their bikes. Naturally it is difficult if not impossible to do it on a bike. The chess board and figures would fly all over the place

But those Italian Stallions. They are something else. They have a different meaning of the word it. The word it is derived from the initials "I" for intimate and "T" for touching. This adds up to sex. On a bike, in a vinyard, eating grapes or olives. On a park bench, in a fountain at the Vatican Gates in Rome. Drinking wine, sitting at a cafe with expresso. Young, old, fat skinny, beautiful or ugly. From the top near Switzerland, down to the bottom of the boot, those Italians....all they do is have sex, sex, sex, all the time. Put it away already.

Hope this answers your question.

Lamps

 

Tell them both the truth. you are gay. Problem solved.

 

Not quite, But damned near close enough.

 

Thx for all:laugh::laugh:

aren't i lucky your only a 30 min ride from me. on second thought thats darn right scary

 

You killing me Randy

LMAO ound:ound::rofl::rofl:
Thank you all of you for a great laughs:thumbsup:

 

Dear Randy,

Long time reader, first time poster...

Upon hearing about this thread by some of your fans, I decided to ask you for advice...

I need to get about $250 worth of parts/ etc. for the VFR. How do I break the news to my wife that I need to spend MORE mondy on the bike?

Sincerely,

World's Longest Oil Change

 

Gold! Pure gold... With a SOH like that you should be an Aussie! ;-)

 

I have a question about what all those guys are really doing on that bike in the avatar pic. I hope this is not a pic of the Biker Chippendales from Kalamazoo.

 

Dear Randy:

Why are you, vfourbear, and crustyrider so damn funny! I have to have an operation to have skin graphs inside my nose due to shooting hot coffee through my nostrils whenever I read one of your responses. And I'm also getting a little tired of having to change my tighty-whities several times a day. How can I solve these problems, yet continue to read your column?

Sincerely,

Knife in a Dilemma

 

You not da man.

Providing for your dependants is probably the most important thing you can do. Your wife should understand this. I will assume you wife is a relatively intelegent person. If the chips were down and something happened to you, she would probably get by. But who is there to provide for your baby. Your wife should not bat an eye at spending a pittance of $250.00 to maintain the health of your dependant. The VFR cannot fend for itself.

The time has come where men step up to the plate and let the wives know what is what, who wears the pants in the family and is the king of the castle. Of course for some who have posted here it would mean Queen of the parlor. However, a true Scot is a different story. They don't wear pants.

Just go out and get the neccessary and basic neccessities of life for your beloved VFR and "inform" your wife you have done so. You can then call me and I will supply you with several dating services you may wish to employ.

 

An interesting question. Car poolng traditionally has been to have two or more people in a car. Again, we motor cycle enthusiest were being discriminated against. The more vehicles we can get off the road, the better we all will be. This group of people should be commended for their concern for our environment. There should be no question that they are entitled to use the HOV lanes. Also consider the savings in toll charges over the year.

BTW. The front passenger wears a heat resistant cup and has skid plates on his ass.

 

You should be a long way from worrying about the skin graphs. On the typical male, there is sufficuent loose sking on the penis to provide a substantial supply of skin for grafting to your nasal passages. This would especially be true where the penis is seldomly used as in your case.

About the tighty whities. You appear to have an underwear fettish. You like tight underwear. They seem to give you a gooooood feeling. White is a submissive non agressive color so it would also appear you prefer to be on the recieving end of things. ....ugh.....ugh......uuugh.......aaaahhhhh........ Sorry. Try going comando. Spread absorbant paper towel on your seat. If you are doing this at work, tell everyon you have a highly contageous condition. Everyone will stay away.

BTW. I will PM you may address.

 

I wanted to give this one some thought before I responded. Given your very delicate condition, to come across too strong could send you into a deep tail spin.

You obviously have a deep desire to be everything like me. You idolize and worship my every being. This is more normal that you might think. Millions of adult males are in the same situation. Some women too. This is a perfectly normal way to be. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be perfect.

While no one will ever be as perfect as me, you can certainly do some things that will improve yourself, and be a more valued memebr of this VFRWorld Forum. Start by riding your beloved VFR more often. Take the bike out of the garage and ride the fucking thing in the rain you pussie.

BTW....no leaks on the canopy. :first: Put the support out a couple days ago