new rules, this should get some laughs

Copy and pasted: "New Rules"
IF YOU'RE A MAN OVER 45 AND WANT TO BUY YOUR FIRST MOTORCYCLE... YOU CAN'T - Because you will be buying it for all the wrong reasons. Mid-life crisis. Stuck in middle management. Hair gone. E.D. Besides, why spend $20,000 on something you're just going to clean and stare at and maybe ride to the bar weather permitting. Eventually your new fad will fade quicker than that box of premium cigars you pretend to like. So do everyone a favor and accept your old life. There are still plenty of golf courses.

GIVE ORANGE COUNTY CHOPPERS A TASTE OF YOUR SIZE 12s - The TV show, the t-shirts, the dopey theme bikes. It's time to wake up and smell the 20W-50. What originally began as a compelling vision of a small shop's pretensions quickly degenerated to overt commercial pandering once the characters got popular. Rehearsed storylines became as predictable as the banner logos gracing the backdrop of every scene. And while a fake reality series is nothing new, it's hard to turn away from the misguided thousands sporting OCC merchandise like it's the second coming of Davy Crockett's cap. A hopeful epitaph: recently spotted Orange County Choppers gear on sale at J.C.Pennys, marked down 60%.

SOMETIMES THE LONE WOLF IS JUST ANOTHER SHEEP IN THE FLOCK - Especially if you only ride in groups of ultra-conformist bikes costumed in look-alike vests over "BITCH FELL OFF" t-shirts, fingerless gloves and beanie helmet. For a group of "rugged individualists" you're goofier than a bunch of shriners.

BIKERS ARE NOT AN OPPRESSED MINORITY - The "us" versus "them" attitude is long out of date. Your hair (shaggy or shaved), tattoos, black leather and chain wallets haven't scared anyone for a long time. The eye rolling you attract from folks and real motorcyclists have more to do with your pathetic herd mentality than the need to discriminate. Part of which is your inane desire to feel the world doesn't understand you. Truth is there isn't much to understand. The biker t-shirts say, "If you have to ask you wouldn't understand." Well no sh** Sherlock. Nobody's asking. And whether you're a biker who's black, Jewish, homosexual and/or a Republican there's no reason to think society's out to get you. So give up the glamour of being a second class citizen and accept the fact that you and your lives are merely average or at best slightly below.

IF YOU RIDE WITHOUT A HELMET PRE-PAY YOUR BURIAL COSTS - Rather than debate helmet laws, hospital and insurance rates let's cut to the tombstone. It costs money to put these jokers in the ground. So rather than burden families and society with the inevitable "let those who ride decide" if it's going to be granite or bronze. And have them open their checkbooks before they open their brains out on the highway.

LOUD PIPES JUST ANNOY PEOPLE - All that noise directed rearward doesn't do dick in the most common dangerous conflict where a car turns in front of you. Research shows that bikes with modified exhaust systems crash more frequently than those with stock pipes. If you really want to save lives, turn to a brighter jacket and helmet color with reflectives which have been proven to do the job. Or install a louder horn. Otherwise, you and your ground pounders can just shut up.

IF YOU DON'T RIDE IN THE RAIN YOU DON'T REALLY RIDE - No one is suggesting heading straight toward the thunderstorm. But if you're exclusively a fair weather rider it's just too impractical to have you on the road. Your inexperience and apprehension are to put it mildly, dangerous. And while mother nature is unpredictable, experience, skill and proper gear are what gets you through. Limiting your riding to only the perfect day is just a step away from hardly riding and eventually not riding at all. Maybe the best idea for some.

STOP WITH ALL THE WAVING ALREADY - As sure as the first day of Spring when every 2-bit bozo has their bike out... it starts. You know, the Wave. People with whom we only share the same transportation choice feel the need to mutually acknowledge each other like a bunch of prom queens. It used to be the only reason for an errant hand gesture was the warning of a dead skunk or worse. Like the last scene in Easy Rider when Dennis Hopper gets blown away for flipping off the redneck in the pick-up. A Wave gone wrong. Still the Wavers assume we're all long-lost brothers. Weekend chrome polishers all cruising toward us in dire need of validation. Okay, we admit it. We see you. We're happy for you. Just keep your hands on the grips and eyes on the road. And if you feel the urge, save the wave for the next redneck in a pick-up. And lets hope for the best.

YOU DON'T NEED GPS ON A 60 MILE ROUNDTRIP - Tom Hanks got back to earth from the friggin moon (Apollo 13) with only a pencil and a slide-rule. While it's great to able to coordinate your position on the planet in relation to Pluto it's nice to know maps are still available at most gas stops. Or how about the pure adventure of traveling without a destination? Besides, if all Tom Hanks had was a GPS he'd still be on that friggin island (Castaway).

STOP TRYING TO RESURRECT DEAD MARQUEES - Paying over $18 million for the rights to a motorcycle logo from fifty years ago doesn't guarantee that brand will fly off the dealer's floorplan. It might be good business to ride the wave of aging boomer bikers before they trade-in their two wheels for wheelchairs. But if the only reason to buy the bike is the retro logo on the gas tank it won't be long before people wise up. And with Excelsior-Henderson, Indian and others having filed Chapter 11, those late great motorcycles are again relegated to people's fond memories where they should have stayed all along.

LET'S HAVE MORE REAL WORLD M-CLASS LICENSING
The current M-class licensing fails to take into consideration many riders' limitations and rights to personal choice. Some new classifications might include:
M-NR - cannot ride in the rain
M-60 - cannot ride during ambient temperatures below 60fh degrees.
M-TRL - can only ride within 5 miles from nearest trailer
M-BAR - can only ride to and from a cold beer
M-DONOR - cannot wear a helmet except certified novelty beanie
M-CLEAN - can only clean motorcycle, no riding permitted
M-MMM GOOD - can only ride to and from a bowl of soup

 

motorcycle life love it or leave it....................

 

Lol funny here's another rule. Unless you live in an area that's covered with snow you should be forbidden from buying a battery tender. The only charging system you need is the bike!

 

M-FUCKOFF - Who minds your business while you're minding mine?

PS: See ya in a week Bear, MotoGP is gonna be a blast.....bring your party hat:biggrin:

 

Ha! I'm over 55 and ride the crap outa two of the hottest bikes made,, whats your problem?
YMMP

 

Shhhhhhhh, keep your head down. The VFRW safety police will come for you.........

 

Its all good brother, it was cut and pasted from another forum, I thought it would drag a reaction and some laughs, especially from some of the old guys here, of which I am one just like you ...

 

AHHHHHHHHH,, I Had Ya Goin' Laddie,, Now It's funny!




Whats even funnier is they had me locked out of this post for 4 hoursound:

 

now that was a great read.........

 

I like the tiered licensing at the end.

 

beer

I just looked at mine and it is an M-BAR? Who knew?:biggrin:

 

LMFAO! Many thanks for that. There's some truth in there, which makes it even better.

 

All of those were right on the money. And i hate to admit in my old age i'm a M60.

 

"SOMETIMES THE LONE WOLF IS JUST ANOTHER SHEEP IN THE FLOCK"

Enough said. I love Harley's add campaign: Go your own way! Are you f'en kidding me? Hhahaha!

 

That was funny

 

Parts of it are funny!

But other parts are misguided and cruel! Why can't you just shut up!
I love my GPS and I am misunderstood( I've got the alienated family members to prove it.), so those need to be removed toot sweet, my good man.
If I live the see the collapse of the Harley re-sale market, and all the faces of my friends when they can only sell a 3 year old Road King (with too many extras to list!) for 5k, then I will consider my life rich and well lived.
Also, I'm praying to live long enough to see the low-cost energy era to end in North America and hope we adopt a Euro model of cycle usage and regulation.
Every 16 year old gets a scooter!
Tiered driver license privileges!
Park your cycle wherever the fuck you want!
Hot chicks in leather!!!!!
It can happen.

 

For those of you that have not hit the empty nest stage of your life, be prepared.

You will not be allowed to do anything or have any fun without being second guessed at every turn while the people in your life wonder why you are doing whatever it is youre into. Doesnt matter if you have always been into it, or if now for the first time in a while you have the time and money to realize or rekindle some old desires. Suddenly you have to have a reason cause I guess youre supposed to always be Dad or something. Sheesh. Even if youve always done stuff like youve decided to do now.

When I first saw this post I thought wow, thats me I'm over 45, however this is far from my first motorcycle so maybe it doesnt apply. Then I started thinking the whole thing sounded kind of whiny. Sort of like , " Oh youre not allowed to do that cause we think youre foolish" Of course that brought the usual FTW out of me right away. I have a definite issue with constant sniping by people that think they have all the answers.

But like all humor, it must have a thread of truth to be really funny. And the article does hit some things square on the head. Especially Orange County Choppers, for the love, WTF is that shit about?

Anyways, its been interesting for sure to read everyones comments.

Thats the reason I just threw it up there with no comment.

This is probably one of the few sportbike forums with an advanced age demographic, must be true what my buddies tell me, the VFR is an old mans sportbike.......heehee

 

VFR is an old man's sport bike? Sheeeeeit. My kids keep telling me I am not 17 and wonder why I 'need' three bikes. Guess it is true, I really must be getting old. I like to wave at people on bikes though. I have an OCC t-shirt, but it's probably a rip off cuz i got it at wally mart on sale. I ain't ridin in snow and for some strange reason lightning striking the side of the highway concerns me more when I am on a bike than in a cage.

So how do I turn back the clock? I already own a Ninja 250. Isn't that what us 'young guys' ride? What is the cool bike to ride? Not a cruiser, and we have established the VFR is for fogies. I guess I have to get a Gixxer 600 or R6 cuz every 20 something kid wrecks those daily. Then I can be cool too.

On further reflection i think i may just keep eating bugs with my shortie on my Vstar with loud pipes, screaming to 13,000 rpm on the ninja and loving my VFR for giving me the good parts of both of the other bikes with way more speed...oh, and waving at you all when we pass regardless of what either of us happens to be on that day. I am so uncool.

 

:thumbsup:

I think the youngsters are jealous cause all the old guys can afford the high dollar stuff

heeheee