Humor Thread

Yes they do!

 

Thats hilarious. ....

 

There was this guy who worked in a pickle factory and he started having fantasies about putting his thing in the pickle slicer. Finally he gave into his desires. His boss caught him and he was promptly fired. He arrived home early and his wife asked him what was wrong. He told her that he got fired for putting his thing in the pickle slicer. Fearing the worst, she promptly unbuttoned his trousers and inspected his thing for herself. "Thank goodness you weren't hurt!" his wife said. "But what about the pickle slicer?"

"They fired her, too," he replied.

 

lol B, I went from cringing to laughing.

 

LMFAO.....good one

 

I was going to say the same thing almost verbatim! LOL

 

:biggrin-new::biggrin-new::biggrin-new:

I was wondering about how a crazy compulsion like that could exist, until I realized how obviously normal it was...
Too funny.

 

RNC TRIVIA: English is a second language for Melania Trump, making her the first RNC speaker with that distinction since Sarah Palin.

 

A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a sharp blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly... She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank cheque. 'There's no charge,' she says. 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the mortician says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'




'So I just switched heads.'

 

[Gasp!]
Did NOT see that one coming.

 

When I was a kid, we did not have Pokemon Go.

If we wanted to see something that was not there, we went out and smoked some good weed and got stoned like normal people.

 

My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.

 

Love it Lint.

 

I went to my doctor a few days ago and he told me I was suffering from givafuck, I asked him if that was something to be concerned about and he replied that I shouldn't worry about it because obviously I didn't give a fuck

 

OMG!!! That is AWESOME!!!

Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk

 

lol,l Lint. I send the Storm Trooper ones to a coworker that is a huge SW fan. He gets a laugh too.

 

A father was arguing with his daughter. She grew frustrated and stormed out of the room. In the doorway, she turned around and yelled, "And Jim Morrison was highly overrated!" Her dad yelled back, "Hey! What'd I tell you about slamming The Doors?!"