Humor Thread

My buddy has a 929 and just posted this to me yesterday hahah

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Does he have the dreaded extended swingarm?.....must be Miami

 

No. He doesn't thankfully.

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So why don't crabs give to charity?

Because they're shellfish. ..

 

Well played on the Blazing Saddles reference, Gigem!!

 

Well it is Friday.

 

Regardless of all the hurt and hatered in the news today, I refuse to be down trodden with society. I still have faith that good will prevail. I also know though, that mistakes can be made. I look both ways before I cross a one way street.

 

A blonde woman goes to her gynecologist.

"What seems to be the problem?" asked her doctor.

"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my Vagina."

The doctor had a look, then chuckled before she said

"Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas"

 

°.° Doh!!!

 

I chuckled at that one while sitting across the table from my wife. She asked me what was so funny. Lord thunderin Jesus!

 

Now that's funny!!

 

Bwahahahaha!

Laughed until I got cramps!

 

A little girl asked her Mom,

"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block?

I asked mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

Being old school he took a rag, soaked it with a little gasoline, and dabbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said, "Ok, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?


The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

 

I F***ing love Mexican weather!!
https://www.youtube.com/embed/dsYfn8yg41w?autoplay=1&rel=0

 

Now that's Bootylicious

 

Yes, that would raise the old pulse rate on a few people I'm sure.

I used to work with a guy who sent Birthday cards to colleagues that purported to be offering Birthday discounts to a valued customer. They were signed with love from "all the ladies at Madam Lash's House of Pain".