Humor Thread

Hopefully it will stop him from procreating. lol

 

Haha!
You just fucking shot yourself.

 

This goes along with "Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound"

 

There is no fantasy in that statement.

 

Gross


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Oh gawd. Were you mistreated like that as a child too Thumbs? That old fukker probably laughed enough to sprout a coronary.

 

A man is working in a grocery store and was putting out produce when he hears the faint voice of an elderly lady behind him

"Excuse me sir. Can you tell me where the broccoli is? I can't seem to find any." asks the little old lady.

The man say, 'I am so sorry mam. We are fresh out of broccoli but we will have a fresh supply in first thing in the morning." then he returns to stacking the oranges.

A moment later he hears a woman say, "I can't find the broccoli. Can you help me find it?"

The man turns to see it was the same old lady. He tells her, "We are all out of broccoli. Come back tomorrow after the shipment from the warehouse comes in an I can fix you up then." He returns to fixing the oranges again.

A moment later this same woman interrupts the man trying to stack up the oranges and demands, "Where is the broccoli. Help me find some broccoli!"

The man turns to face the lady, "Can you spell cat, as in catastrophic ?"

"Why sure. C.A.T."

The man says, "Can you spell 'dog' as in dogday?"

Absolutely" says the lady. "D.O.G."

"That's good!" says the man. "Now can you spell 'fuck' as in broccoli?"

The old lady says, "There is no fuck in broccoli."

"THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU. THERE IS NO FUCKING BROCCOLI!"

 

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?: what is the dirtiest filthiest planet ??

Polluto !

 

That sounds like a dad joke. lol

 

Bad joke


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OK bad cuz i made it up all by meself in a cannabis-induced pot-smokin idiot daze !~