Humor Thread

LOL. The first one I remember in my lifetime.

 

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It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By noon it all melted
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.

 

Or you're at the $#%*ing airport!
lol

 

Word!

re: 8:40 - if you leave BS issues alone long enough, they tend to work themselves out, one way or another... haha

 

Is there jail time in lieu of paying the fine?

 

2 idiots meet on the road........... wtf

 

LOL.
Being sent to anger management would tick me off too.

 

Especially if you're being sent by the ahole that's making you mad in the first place! lol

 

I DON'T HAVE A FUKKING ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM ! ASSHOLE !

 

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned asked if he was being breast fed or bottle fed.

"Breast fed." she replied.

"Well. Strip down to your waist." the doctor ordered.

She did. The doctor pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning her to get dressed he said "No wonder the baby is underweight, you don't have any milk."

"I know." she said. "I am his grandmother. But I'm glad I came!"

 

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