Humor Thread

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Ok...new life goal: To be as ripped as a kangaroo...

 

Wow no shit, then never mind. Guess he has bragging rights for the rest of his life----


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Kangaroos are nothing. It's the wombats you have to look out for.

 

And the Drop Bears, I've heard....

 

Like snakes, drop bears are so common we don't even pay any attention to them.

 

Cool vid, hadn't seen it yet, they had been talking about it on the local radio today apparently the guy worked at Dubbos Western plains Zoo and has been given a talking to though most agree the roo wasn't hurt and the dog was in real trouble if he didn't intervene only enough to make the roo back off.

 

Jingle bells, Jingle bells, ahh, it's that time of year again.

Why look, it's santa! Hello Santa....WTF!!!

 

I was buying my lunch today and a lady said that I looked like Santa Claus. This picture makes me wonder.

 

Well, might as well keep going with Santa here.

 

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.


The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in tha...t seat?"


The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"


The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another," trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."


The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"


The soldier didn't say anything else: he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.


The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.


An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

 

Lol, brilliant.


Harvey, an elderly American absentmindedly arrived at French immigration at Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris and fumbled for his passport.

'You have been to France before Monsieur?' the official asked in an aggressive tone.

Harvey, smiled and admitted that he had been to France before.

'In that case you should know enough to have your passport ready for inspection,' barked the bad-tempered officer.

Harvey gently informed the man that the last time he came to France he did not have to show his passport or any other documents.

'Pas possible, old man. You Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in 'la belle France.'

Harvey gave the Frenchman a long hard look. 'I assure you, young man, that when I came ashore on Omaha Beach in Normandy on D-Day in 1944, there was no fucking Frenchman on the beach asking for passports.'

 

This is brilliant as well. Thanks for the laugh.

 

LOL, both above are funny. But don't forget if it was not for the French us Yanks would would have tea in the morning instead of coffee.

 

And on a serious side, thanks to the old warriors that are still alive, remember December 7th.

 

[video=youtube_share;hM166NMTZ10]http://youtu.be/hM166NMTZ10[/video]

 

[video=youtube_share;QZDgxSICnKw]http://youtu.be/QZDgxSICnKw[/video]

 

[video=youtube_share;ItcedKDZF0E]http://youtu.be/ItcedKDZF0E[/video]

 

Not sure if this belongs in a humor thread or "No, really, I'm serious" thread!

 

That's on the wall at my shop.