Humor Thread

LMFAO!!!!

So morbid. I love it.

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You sick puppie---ha
I'll try ta get pictures---- and of course the go-go dancers for the guys


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Promises promises.. Ducky

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I'll try my best... have ta sneak into makeup---


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Is that you Bill Clinton? Or maybe it's Donald Trump? Never can tell since we all use different handles for names on here.

Lol!!!

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That's fowl...

 

How could they? Such evil. What about the children?

 

Then the rumor that the substance in question was not being used for Canadian Jo-jo's isn't true?

 

Lol!!! You liked that one huh??? Lol

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I'm in the ER. Today was not a good day. I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in a few years. It turned out to be a big mistake!
I've got three cracked ribs and my left leg is broken in two locations. Not to mention numerous bruises.
I got on the horse and started out slow, but then we went a little faster. Before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off, but caught my foot in the stirrup with the horse dragging me. It wouldn't stop. Thank goodness the manager at Toys-R-Us came out and unplugged the machine.

 

You fuck, I was freakin there for a sec
Thanks for the heart attack



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So much goin on these days didn't realize it was a humor thread---brain fart


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The looks from a royally pissed off dog after getting a bath:

 

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops........

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"

...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."

....I love these touching stories !!!