Humor Thread

The Biker & the WhoreA road-wary old biker walks into a saloon to have a cold beer after a long, dusty ride. At the end of the bar, he sees a rather good-looking "lady of the evening". She smiles at him and asks if he's looking for a good time. Well, having been some time since his last snarlin' he accepts. After agreeing on a price, she escorts him up to her room and they start humpin'. After about 10 minutes of furious banging the old biker asks:

"So babe, how am I doin'?"

She replies:

"You're doin' 3 "knots".

"3 knots?.... What's that mean?" replies the biker.

She said:

"You're NOT hard, you're NOT in and you're NOT getting your money back!"

 

You know? Every time it rains and blows out there and the weather is really miserable, my wife just stands at the window with this awful sad look on her face. I just can't stand seeing her like this. Maybe I should let her in.

 

A man went into a grocery store, got 3 cans of dog food, and walked up to the checkout counter.

The cashier asks the man, "Sir, do you own a dog?"

The man replies, "Yes I do."

The cashier then asks, "Do you have the dog with you?"

The man replies, "No, I left it at home."

The cashier then says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this dog food unless I see your dog."

A few days later the man walks into the same store, gets 3 cans of cat food, and walks up to the checkout counter.

The same cashier asks, "Sir, do you own a cat?"

The man replies, "Yes I do."

The cashier then asks, "Do you have your cat with you?"

And the man replies, "No, I left it at home."

Then the cashier says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this cat food unless I see your cat."

A few days later the man walks into the store, this time carrying a paper bag. He walks up to the same cashier, and asks him to put his hand into the bag.

The cashier says, "It feels warm, soft, and gooey."

The man then says, "Now, can I go back and get 3 rolls of toilet paper?"

 

............

 

That stinks Randy, it's a really shitty joke.
At least he wasn't after condoms or tampons.

 

You beat me to it

 

Looking back at early post, this seems fitting after the game yesterday:

Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.?

Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles. But I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

 

Sex After Surgery

A recent article in the Daily Post reported that a woman, Gertrude Stienhauser, has sued the local hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery, he lost all his interest in sex.

A spokesman from the hospital relied:

"Mr. Stienhauser was admitted for cataract surgery. The surgery was successful in restoring proper eyesight."

 

It is a asset to be half blind sometimes-the world can have a few ugly's things that shouldn't be seen

 

You make me wish I was illiterate....

 

The definition of Irony

 

What's that saying? Two wrongs don't make a right.

 

LOL @ Dominos

 

Two things, how does one display a pic fullsize- and not just a thumb?

And is there a show-us-your-other bikes thread on VFRW?

 

The only way I am aware of getting larger size images is by using a photo sharing website like photobucket. Although I do think that if you post a pic in your gallery, you can link it from there with the same results. I haven't tried that method or at least don't recall doing it.

As far as the "other bike" thread, I thought there was, if doing a search didn't turn anything up, go ahead and start one I guess.

 

Actually this is more apropos, as Dominos are setup to fall down. What would be ironic is if the Johnson and Johnson logo was comprised of images of two vaginas.

 

I have had nothing but problems with photobucket. I used to upload my pics to my web site but that has been giving me SSL issues that I haven't had the will or the time to mess with.

 

Yep noticed years ago, even as an un-logged user PB injects a tar-like substance into whatever browser you might be using.
I stay on page long enough to swipe a photo, then get the botophucket outta there!