Humor Thread

Nightmare fuel!

 

A little Harley humor from Iowa.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRpDr8OU0eo

 

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in... then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

 

You could also post that in the "You Know You're Getting Old When" thread.

 

Lmao Chester...that was good

 

Please define "Newfie" for this Texas boy.

 

Newfoundland is our eastern most province. We call Newfoundlanders Newfies. Affectionately of course. You will never find a more careing and loving person than a Newfie. They will share with you what they have regardless of what that may be or how much they have.

As a matter of interest, on 9-11, when all those inbound passenger planes were grounded, a substantial number of them landed in Gander Newfoundland, where everyone from those planes, were cared for by the townspeople there. For many days. God bless the Newfie.

 

We have Aggie Jokes referencing the students and graduates of Texas A&M university. It's a Texas tradition.

 

In Houston we used to tell Dallas jokes
:tongue2:

 

So, is a penis a scrotum pole?

 

The indigenous people here on the west coast are Haida. So I suppose, they hide a scrotum pole in the forests somewhere!

 

Is it true that in Houston you have cockroaches you can ride?

 

So. Just who decided the bathroom should be called the John? And why? I am going to start calling mine Jim. Sounds so much better. Every morning, without fail, I get up and go to the Jim first thing.

 

Works for me!

 

Hahaha!!!

 

LMFAO Lint. Should send it to my EX.

 

Oh my God , those two are hilarious, you didn't get in a fight with your wife did ya?

 

No, we're good! :smile-new: