Humor Thread

Now thats pathetic

 

No kidding eh? And besides, he only has one zip tie on the bottom hole. Such a dink.

 

Such a dink...funny I use that saying all the time

 

I don't know if this term is used in Canada, but... DINK = Double Income, No Kids. Unfortunately I qualify as one! :doh:

Dolt seems to be more common here in the OC.

 

We are a bilingual and pluralistic society here in Canada. We use the D.I.N.K. term as well as the Dink term.

We are a D.P.K.G. family here. Dual pensions kids gone!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkDvqQKGgDA

 

Being the Canadian I am, I would like to take a moment to apologize. I sincerely regret missing out on not offending everyone. If I have not offended you yet, please be patient. I will get to you as soon as I can. Thank you.

 

He lost his torque hammer!

 

+1...I feel for ya bro...won't rub it in what the temp will be here Thursday...okay +75...
Oops .... slipped

 

Dink. And nothing to do with wages, marital status and the fruit of your loins.

 

http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/meme/2014/06/Proper-motorcycle-passenger-riding-position.jpg

 

Let's try this again...

 

One day out on the golf course, a golfer accidentally overturned his golf cart.

A very attractive woman, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise, came out onto her balcony and called out to him, Hey, are you okay?

I'm fine, thanks," he replied.

"You look frazzled, the woman said, Come up to my villa for a drink and I will help you get the cart up afterwards."

"That's mighty nice of you," he answered, But I don't think my wife would like that."

"Oh, come on, " the woman, a gorgeous brunette in a sexy bikini, insisted. I can see you've cut your head. It could be serious. Let me take care of that right away. I'm a nurse.

She was very persuasive....and he was weak.

"Well okay," he agreed, but added, "But my wife won't like it."

After she bandaged his wound, she gave him a most welcome brandy. They talked a little about golf and he discovered she was an avid golfer with a four handicap. When he confessed to a weakness in his putting, she gave him a putting lesson holding him close and intimately as she did so.

Finally he confessed, "I feel a lot better now, but I had better get going. I know my wife is going to be really upset with me being here with you."

"Don't be silly! the woman said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Under the cart," he replied.

 

Hilarious......

 

OK. Now I got it! I'm no longer confused.

I became confused when I heard the word"service" used by these agencies:

Revenue Canada Service, Canada Postal Service, Telephone Service, Civil Service, Provincial, Municipal, City and Public Service.

That is not what I thought 'service' meant. But today, sitting at Tim Hortons having a medium one and one and a sour cream glazed, I overheard tow farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to service a few cows.

BAM!!! It all came into focus.

 

I totally relate to this.

 

My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying.

It seemed very important to him that I have it.

 

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another," trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else: he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window.