You Know You're Getting Old When:

... when you wake up in the middle of the night because you need to urgently relieve your bladder, but you're standing over the bowl with a hand on the wall and nothing is coming out ...

 

Kidney stones are next. Just wait. Those are lovely.

 

Oh Jeff... you're in good company I bet. Ha Randy, just you wait my friend, been there done that, twice. in the last 5 years, oh yea they are a real hoot too, said with the most sarcastic smile I can muster. . NOT!!!!!

 

We're tied up. About four years ago then again a couple weeks ago. Cudda used that one as an anchor.

 

Can't wait!!

Good thing - you can help prevent them ... or so the internet says ... must be true!

https://www.kidney.org/atoz/content/kidneystones_prevent

 

I'm told that once you have had one, you are prone to more. Last time around that fucker was trying to pass for days, every guddam time I tried to pee.

 

.... when you no longer bother hiding motorcycle purchases from your wife because.
.... when you get more thrills riding your bike instead of riding your spouse. :-O

 

I have never had a kidney stone (knock on wood) but I know people that have. I was working at a race track attraction called Malibu Grand Prix back in the 70s but I had quit and moved on to another job. My old boss called me up and said "can you come in tonight and close for me." I said Hey Bill. if you recall I no longer work there." "I know" he said "but I am laying on the floor of the office in the fetal position. If I don't move I won't throw up or pass out from the pain. The EMTs are coming to get me and I can't get a hold of anyone that works here to take the shift and close up." I went over and acted as the shift manager and cashed out. It was true, he was laying on the floor in the office cradling the phone and a plastic bag. That's some painful affliction.

 

The first one was a trip to the ER in the wee hours of the morning but got my son to drive me there. I didn't know what was wrong but they told me and sent me home with some meds to make it bearable. It passed a few days later. Had similar symptoms again this past February and another car ride to the ER. That was pancreatitis and they kept me for almost a week. This last one, I suspected what it was and just toughed it out at home. Maybe mine were not as bad as it could have been hearing what others went through.It was about the size of a grain of barley in beef barley soup.

Shall we continue comparing notes on old man bodily functions? Guess that is part and parcel of getting old.

 

You know you're getting old when you think you need a Viagra pill an hour before you pee to avoid the dribble down the front of your pants. If you are wearing black pants, no one will notice. Wearing well faded jeans...you got trouble.

Note to self. Put spare pair of pants in bathroom.

 

No no no.....stop it..... ; (

 

I was thinking today, how times have changed. I study Craigslist now and look at bikes and gear but I used to pour over the classifieds in the newspaper. Remember those?

 

^ what about the "want-ads?" It is really not that long ago though; I remember buying some second hand tools from the local newspaper ad when I moved down here in 1998. Side bar note, was talking to a co-worker and mentioned Craigslist and he told me he never heard of it. Long story short, he got home that night and scored a dash panel for the interior of his truck. If it was real, and not :bs: ing me, he got turned on to a thing I have been using for over two decades. btw, I am not old. ; )

 

There are so many tools and features of this age that I don't think anyone can know them all. Even businesses don't know what they could be doing with available collaboration tools. My in-laws turn on their computer and only know how to open Facebook.

 

You know you're getting old when your body hairs are turning grey. I won't be any more specific.

 

Ya what the hell, grey eyebrow hair...wtf

 

You are getting really old when it is reasonable to pluck the dark hairs out of your head for the sake of uniformity.

 

Brow...sure. Eye....well...

 

Speaking of eyebrow hair, what's up with that? All of a sudden it's having a growing contest with my nose and ear hair! It's just crazy.

 

Hell. I really don't need a pinlock system for the damp cool days. I can just flex my eyebrows and clear the inside visor. Now that's old huh?