Humor Thread

Bet it taste like chicken

 

Sorry I couldn't embed this video but I think you'll like it!
[video]http://tinyurl.com/nqcmvo7[/video]

 

Ya Think.... mommy

 

Facebook error. Shoulda got a screenshot...


That's all. Carry on.


Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it's a beaver, Johnny.”

The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out.”

 

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

 

anything tastes like chicken except chicken.

 

Did ya really have to go there
Chester?

 

http://www.inkedshop.com/mens-alien-vs-predator-tee-heathen-clothing-blk.html

Gotta get one!

 

Is it wrong to ask someone wearing an eye patch: "So was it all fun and games up until that point?"

 

Someone had to do it. Why not me!

 

Who's candle is she gonna blow out today?

 

If I ever wanted to date her, she would probably want to kiss me...french neck....gross!

 

Hunker down on bow bow

 

Hey it was good enough for Slick Willie. Just saying. lol

 

SO true.

 

No one made fun of his 3 wheeler.

 

I got caught having a piss in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.

 

I was telling a girl in the Bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her tits.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...give it a try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."