Your rider horoscope. By mofo.

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be a progressive rider. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI and the CIA just because you ride a BMW. You have minor influence over your fellow riders and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their noses a lot.

Aries (March 21-April 20)
You are the pioneer type of rider and hold most people in contempt due to their choice of ride. You are quick-tempered, impatient, blatant son of a bitch and scornful of advice. Riders like you die while crossing rail road tracks.

Taurus (April 21- May 21)
You are impractical and persistent. You have dogged determination and ride like a squid. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a God-damned asshole.

Gemini (May 22-June 21)
You are a quick and intelligent rider, people like you because you are bisexual. However, you expect too much for too little. You are the classic example of the person I love to hate, this means you are a cheap bastard!

Cancer (June 22-July 22)
You are sympathetic and understanding of other people's motorcycles. They think you are a natural born looser. You are always putting things off; that's why you'll never be worth a shit.

Leo (July 23- August 21)
You consider yourself a natural-born rider. Others think you are a fucken egomaniac. Most Leo riders are drunks. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves and kick mirrors a lot.

Virgo (August 22- Sept 23)
You are the logical rider and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening your friends. You are cold and unemotional and always fall asleep while screwing. Virgos make good Harley riders as well as welfare recipients.

Libra (Sept 24-Oct 23)
You are the artistic type (or so you think) because your bike is an “Italian design” and have difficult time with reality. If you are a male, for sure you’re a queer. Most Libra women are whores. All Libra riders die with venereal diseases.

Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)
You are retarded and cannot even change the oil on your own bike. You shall achieve the pinnacle of failure due to your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios love crotch rockets and are found face-down in ditches.

Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent on the street or on the track. The majority of Sagittarians are crack users and potheads. People laugh at you because you are always getting fucked.

Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20)
You are conservative type of rider and are afraid of taking risks or go for a long ride. Basically you are chicken shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should plow you –and your ride- into a concrete wall.

 

Leo here. I also like to look at my reflection as I ride past large store widows too.

 

Sagittarius here.

 

I admit it. I do that too. I looks so cool riding past! I just gotta keep from running into shit.

I got chills reading the riders horoscope. It's uncanny the accuracy of the Zodac to predict such things. It's spooky. I, myself, am a Pisces and it's all true, especially the nose picking part.

 

I think I can safely pick something from each and every one of those. Except the part in Sagittarius where they get fucked. I am almost 60 years old, and have been married for over 28 years so that doesn't happen anymore.

 

Geeze Randy only 28, I already had 18 up by the time you got married and she has never complained about my bikes

 

Libra here, been looking at a Multistrada and have been considering coming oot of the closet recently.

 

^gona be eating spaghetti instead of sushi? I am Sagittarius and get fucked but used to do well on the track and the street; well I am king there :vtr2: Happy New Year :thumbsup:

 

Tuarus here, just remember you mess with the bull, you'll get the horns! Just try it assholes!!!

 

From this, harleydoods can be born any time.

 

Capricorn here. Looking for a concrete wall.

 

Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20)
You are conservative type of rider and are afraid of taking risks or go for a long ride. Your name probably rhymes with Fred. Basically you are chicken shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should plow you –and your ride- into a concrete wall.

WOW, he nailed it.

 

Aries here, guess I'm screwed....now every time I cross RR tracks this will pop into my head...thanks fer dat broooo....Happy New Year

 

As a Scorpio im glad i only have to risk 2-3 oil changes a year. Also more then once the EMT's have found me in the ditch.

 

Gemini here. Bisexual? Nah. I've blown by guys on the track but never have been blown by guys on the street .

I think I've lost my sense of humor.

 

TMI there Rob

 

Yeah, I probably worded that poorly. I give up...

 

Ya think? Happy New Year

 

Scorpio here.How dare you! I can change my oil thank you. Done it today.
1 Remove right side lower fairing
2 Undo cap on radiator.
3 Undo hose at bottom.
4 Let old oil out, good job i am changing it, it was a bit runny.
5 Tighten hose .
6 Pour in new oil.
7 Start engine check for leaks.
Done , nice and simple!
You will never find me face down in a ditch, gutters yes, but not ditches.

 

I'm sure glad all that replied to this thread took it for what it is; something to laugh about.
Seems all us are proud of our horoscope. I will wear it as a badge of honor myself.