Seen anything funny

I was on my way to work, I had the apprentice in the van sitting next to me. (he had his head buried in his I-phone), I pulled up at an intersection, waiting to pull out into traffic, I glance to the left, all good, glance to the right, wait a second what was that, look back to the left and see two dogs on the footpath having a shag, the female appears to be a Labrador or similar, the male is some sort of Terrier, much shorter in the legs, he is up on the very tip of his toes, doing his best work. I nudge the apprentice and say, "hey check out the stud" we both laugh.
As a an acknowledgement from one male to another, I gave the horn a little beep beep.
The female suddenly takes off, :eek-new:startled by the horn, the little Terrier has somehow been flung around, and is now facing the wrong way, his front paws are on the ground he is looking at the dirt, his back legs are up on the female's back, and he is peddling backwards very very fast on his front feet. He wasn't happy either, a weird howling coming from the male, must of been painful, but shit it was funny.

tumbleweed

aah the things you see when you have a camera, but its all over in a few seconds.
I hope I've done it justice in the telling.

 

Good one:glee:
John

 

Sound funny but no pictures........:noidea:

 

This happened about a month ago. My friend is driving to work through town in his f150 and up ahead is a kid on a skateboard being pulled along by his dog. The dog peels off onto a grass area to take a dump so the kid drops the leash and coasts ahead, my friend looks in the mirror and sees the dog finish his business and then hall ass and catch up to the kid who reaches down and picks up the leash. Friend is slowing for a stop light as the pair are pulling along side, my friend rolls down the window and yells, hey, you gonna go back and pick up your dog's shit? The kid yells at him "Fuck You" ..........and runs right into the stop light pole! Wham* right on his ass!!! Carma, you gotta love it:glee:
John

 

About a year ago I was riding on a busy 4 lane road. I notice a yellow (new) Chevy Camaro on my left ( Im in the right lane) and it was paceing/staying on my hip....which pisses me off....So I twist the throttle a little. Well again its on my hip. I look over to see WTF is going on. Its two teenage boys driving home from high school and they are admireing the bike. So I allow them to stay on my hip as I continue riding till....They smashed into a couple of cars. Seems like my lane was free of traffic and theirs was backed up.... Id hate to be them having to explain that to their parents lol.

So keeping score for me and the VFR...Countless inquires of "what kind of bike is that?", 9 middle fingers given to me, 3 sets of boobs, and one accident caused (kinda) by the VFR....Man I love this bike :vtr2:

 

This one could take on the humour thread.op2:

 

I had a girlfriend who one morning was walking her roommates bulldog. The dog squatted and a couple minutes later she looks down to see what the trouble is. Her roommates thong is half out of the dogs ass. So she grabs a stick and starts pulling. This is during morning rush hour so cars filing down the street are all honking and laughing hysterically. I asked her what she did with them and she said she left them wrapped around the stick at the curb. I don't know how she didn't think it was funny. I thought it was hysterical!


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My family adopted a large rather strong adult Labrador when I was a teenager. He had too much energy and would jump straight up in the air 6' repeatedly. Dopiest looking thing you can imagine rolling up to the house and seeing what looked like a dog on a trampoline in the window- ears straight up as he began his decent, tail wagging counterbalanced by his ass wagging in opposition. He was a nut.

One day my dad is walking him when a neighbors cocker spaniel mix who was often seen wandering around off a leash got brave and marched up to the Labrador and began barking in his face.

The Labrador cocked his head back and launched forward grabbing the cocker spaniel by the back of his neck. He then inverted him so his butt was in the air and swinging him back and forth trying to snap his neck with his own body weight.

The owner sees the commotion and my dad punching and kneeing the Labrador while pulling on his leash to try to break them free. They managed to disentangle them and all was fine.

A few months later signs are up all over the neighborhood for their missing dog. He was pretty old and the family was grief stricken.

One early Sunday my dad is walking the Labrador off his leash when he digs into a snow drift and pulls out the frozen and quite dead cocker spaniel mix and bolts back to our house to deposit him on the stoop.

My mother wakes me up in tears of laughter saying "oh it's terrible- but it's too funny" as she describes what just happened I look out the window and there's my dad walking back around the corner with a macys shopping bag and a curly tail hanging out the top. Had to put em back so we didn't get blamed!

Just as he's dumping the body back into the hole some neighborhood kids came out of their house shouting "Hey he found Rocky!!"

My dad ran.

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These stories paint a funny picture but there is one urban legend I have to share - also dog related:
Guy has a Rottweiler that is forever digging near the fence trying to get at his neighbors little show dog.
One day the guy looks out his window and sees his neighbors dog is dead and covered in dirt and blood. He runs outside and grabs the dead dog, throws him into the bathtub and turns on the water.
He runs back outside and fills in the hole at the fence line.
Returning inside he cleans off the blood and dirt and blow drys the dog.
It's getting near dusk so he watches out his window and determining the coast is clear hops the fence and puts the dead dog on his runner.

A few days pass and he starts to breathe again.

Just then there's a knock in the door and it's his neighbor.
"You see anything funny in the neighborhood recently? Like any new kids or anything like that?"
"No, why?" He gulps.
"Well it's the damnedest thing. Before I went away on vacation our dog got hit by a car. Some suck son of a bitch dug him up, washed off the blood and dirt and put him on his runner."




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Too bad some honkers weren't around when Scubalong had his shameful desert encounter with a Slutasaur, leaving misshapen little fishsauce-smellin droidoids slouchin toward Bakersfield to get drunk.

 

I was running with a Police Dog on a track many years ago. I was the investigator of this particular incident. I refused to allow a dog handler to run a track alone with his dog. They are too concentrated on what the dog is doing to stay safe as far as I am concerned and that actually played out with a friend of mine years later. Then a bad guy he was tracking circled around and jumped him and the dog from behind with a hunting knife and stabbed them both. Dog died and Doug almost lost his life too but he bounced back. But that's another story. I wasn't involved in that one.

Anyways, back to my post. I was in Campbell River BC at the time. We were tracking a B&E suspect through rural residential area which is really rural forrest/bush in Campbell River. I was tracking with the handler Gary (remember Wimpy on Popeye? Looks just like him but a bit meaner of a disposition and a hell of a lot more fit) The dog was Moss. Moss was a very nasty dog. Even bit Gary a few times. Had a stainless steel Eye tooth. Great dog.

Anyways, we tracked through a yard and this little fucking yappy poodle or something come running out and yap, yap, yap, and nipping at Moss's heels. Moss just grabbed this little rat but he back, shook it around a couple times then flung it in the air over his shoulder. The little yappy thing just yelped and ran to the porch of the house and shivered as we continued the track. I was laughing so fucking hard at that, I could hardly run with Gary and Moss. We tracked the guy for about two hours and caught up to him near some Blackberry Brambles. In case you don't know what they are like, well the thorns that are about 1/2 inch long, sharp and easily penetrate the thickest leather gloves and leave huge puncture wounds. This poor slob thought he could run into the brambles and defeat us. He was wrong. The dog just forced him further in. He finally came out on his own with our coaching him, verbally only, and gave up. He looked like goddam ground beef. And the dog never got a bite either.

That dog also survived being shot while he and Gary were tracking and found a guy who had threatened to blow up one of our local judges' house.

 

Years ago, again in Campbell River, I had a warrant to arrest for a woman who failed to show up in court for a theft charge. I knew where she lived and there was no threat so away I go and arrest her without incident at her home. Hell, I didn't even put the cuffs on her. Brought her back to the office. Didn't even book her into the cells.

She explained to me the reason she did not make her court appearance was due to a death in the family. Now Campbell River was quite a small community and her story was easily confirmed so I had some sympathy for her situation. But none the less, the warrant is and order from a judge to arrest so I did. But I decided I would do what I could to make things go easier for her, Sat her down out in the bull pen next to the photocopier while I sat at one of the stations and made a phone cal to the Legal Aid lawyer. I knew this lawyer and explained the situation to him. He agreed to meet me at court and deal with the prisoner right away and get her released before the sitting judge on a Recognizance of Bail. All is good.

EXCEPT! Another member was sitting next to me, his head buried in his paperwork. We called him Dash due to his hyphenated last name. But Dash was a bit of a clown. And a little boisterous at the best of times. His voice also carried very well. These work stations were only about 10 feet away from where the woman was sitting nice and quiet like. Dash had not looked up so he did not know she was there.

All of a sudden he piped up, without lifting his head. "Hey Randy, is that that big fat dumpy looking broad?" I like looked up at her with my mouth wide open and jaw hanging, not knowing what to say now. But I did not have to say anything. My prisoner politely informed Dash, "Yes. That big fat dumpy looking broad is sitting right here."

Well, Dash turned so red, I swore he had no blood left in his veins. Worse part of it all, he just got paged to a call, and he had to walk right past this prisoner to get to his car.

I told the woman that I didn't know what to say, but that I don't apologize for other peoples actions. She was good with that. Got her to court and before the judge then all was good after that.

 

Oh, Randy, we do love your tales of the RCMP !! arty2: Ever arrest any "famous" offenders or draw your gun ??

 

Don't recall off hand if I gave any jewelery to famous peeps. The other thing is not discussed.