Fictitious Motorcycle Parts List or maintenance tips

Is this dude for real?

Sweethogs

Are you sick and tired of only being able to get foreign made aftermarket parts for your American Motorcycle? We thought so. Welcome to a taste of our company and website featuring American parts and accessories for Americans and American Motorcycles.
Thank-you Jesus for America and God Bless Ronald Reagan, Willie G. , Rush Limbaugh and Jesus when you come again we know you will be riding an American Motorcycle and we pray that nobody hassles you about not wearing a stupid crash helmet. If they do we will give you our lawyer's cell phone number. Amen.

Thanks to my wife Doris and the four girls Doris age 9, Doris age 8, Doris age 5 and little Doris age 2.
We are online at:

www.Sweethogs.com

Our products are made in America, by Americans, for Americans for America for American Motorcycles.
Here is a sample of our extensive catalog. We hope you like our stuff.

The Sweethogs Odometer Advance Kit

Complete with tools and instructions written in American.
Don't let your image suffer just because its your first American motorcycle and it only has 800 miles on it. Jack up those miles and nobody will think you are just a punk who only rides once a month.

The Sweethogs Roadgrunge In a Can

Just the thing to carry in your glovebox when you haul your bike to Daytona, Sturgis or just across town. A few quick squirts and it looks like you just did a thousand mile day.

Sweethogs Condoms

Black with faux leather fringe. Available in several sizes but each condom has "LARGE" printed on it. Watch for our new glow in the dark model. Available soon.

The Sweethogs Inflatable Drip Pan

A few leaks? Not to worry! Be the first on your Cul de sac to own this hot new item. Inflated it is a giant 2X3 feet and deflated is smaller than a can of snoose. Blow it up in seconds or try our optional C02 filler kit.

The Sweethogs Tattoo Maker

Hundreds of images on our CD. Ready for Windows. Dozens of fonts, flags and skulls. Lasts for days and are easily removable with vegetable spray. Comes complete with a dozen transfer sheets to get you going on your first tat.

The Sweethogs Spool Wheel Kit

This is a cover that makes it look like you aren't running a front brake. A very cool 60s look when front brakes weren’t needed.

The Sweethogs Training Wheel Set

New rider and a little unsure? Do not fret, we have a solution for you.
Cleverly disguised as a set of saddlebags, the wheels and struts are inside the bags and just a whisper of the wheels show. Stability without loss of Image is just around the corner.

The Sweethogs American Atlas of Maps

Tired of going around corners? These maps are for you. Hundreds of routes getting you to your favorite destination on the straightest roads in America. Get rid of those dizzy and disorienting curves and take in the scenery.

The Sweethogs Monthly Resturaunt Run

With the demise of Taco Thursday and what the heck, Tacos aren't American anyway, starting in June at Big Jim’s Drive in, it will be Caviar Thursday. Try their great Salmon Caviar made from American made Salmon. In July, its Pate Foi Gras at Fat Ernie’s Hog Waller and Bean Emporium, made from American made Geese. Valet parking is available.

The Sweethogs Anti-Handling Kit

This is our all time favorite and best seller. Our certified mechanics will drain and replace your fork oil with our aircraft grade soft epoxy reducing preload and rebound to an absolute minimum. For the other end.
we disassemble your rear shocks, heat them a cheery cherry red to remove all temper from the springs. This lowers your bike about two inches and gives you that cool raked look.
This exclusive service puts you in touch with the tarmac and gives you that hardtail feel.
Also, check out our custom babbit steering head races.We can customize them just for you from a gentle headshake at 35mph or a really neat tankslapper at the double nickel..

Remember this is just a sample of our huge on line catalog. We have hundreds of unusual and aftermarket parts for your American Motorcycle. In fact from our parts stock you can replace every part on your American Motorcycle and it will still be American.

Check it out and God Bless America.

Your friend and mine,

Lazlo Toth


Impremado en Mexico

 

Sorry BB I tried googling sweethogs but got confused, who's Vinnie Barbarino and why does he look like the guy from Pulp Fiction ?

 

I called Lazlo on my SAT phone. He is in Hungary at his brother Zoltan's wedding to his wife Doris' sister who is also named Doris. She is PG and they think its a girl.

Vinnie as I understand it is a cousin who operates the condom side of the business.

 

hahahaha! That's funnier than you meant it to be.

Vinnie was from a show called "Welcome Back Kotter" from the 1970's. A comedy about a bunch of kids in a school room. The 4 friends (or stars of the show) were known as "sweat hogs" - not "sweet hogs".

Vinnie IS the guy from Pulp Fiction, and also the movie Greece, which starred your very own Olivia Newton John.

 

Lazlo Toth is sort of pulp fiction too. The pulp of a succulent grown in Mexico and then distilled into a popular beverage made me do it.Lazlo was/is the invention of Don Novello aka "Father Guido Sarducci". Also see. his book "Letters from Lazlo" A bit dated for the historically challenged but what isn't?

Greasing up Olivia Newton John was a popular fantasy. I suppose some of the harleydoods did the same with Travolta..

 

Apologies Pliskin, was just playing BB's game. :redface:

" Welcome back Kotter " had been popular show here when I was a young fellow and Greece was a huge hit when it came out, ( so was Saturday Night fever " but no-one admits to ever liking Disco these days )

 

Travolta may be only posing as an Italian and be from Greece. Olivia is from OZ. That's why everyone says, "beware of greek bearings."

 

My Long time VFR mechanic is Greek, he used marine grade for the tapered head bearings so far they're still perfect 40,000 miles later dispelling the old saying beware of Greek bearing Grease.

 

Right on!! It was one of those combo harleydood leather bars and carrot waxing salon. They used to be sort of by invite only but now they are just one more franchise. Even the harleydoods are complaining about the lines.