You Know You're Getting Old When:

You know you're getting old when you meet up with a group of guys, for the first time, to go ride and think "these guys look really old." Then you catch a glimpse of your reflection in a shop window and think "Holy Crap. I look just like these guys!" So much for my youthful self image.

 

You know your getting old when your subordinates at work spot a photo of your daughter on your desk and makes mention he would like to ask her out for a date. Then you realize you are not that old when you promise to cause him grievious bodily harm should he even mention such madness, ever, again, anywhere, to anyone.

I wonder what ever happened to him?

 

Leave your helmet on if at al possible. Then all you need to do, is suck it in when you ride by windows.

 

Been there. Years ago I came across the item below. Actually gave it to a guy who she was going out on a date with back when she was 16 or so.

Application for permission to date my Daughter.

Note: This application will be considered incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

Name:_______________________

DOB:________________________

HEIGHT:_____________________

WEIGHT:_____________________

SS #:_________________________

DRIVERS LICENSE #:__________________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES:____________________________

HOME ADDRESS:______________________________________

CITY:_______________________________

STATE:__________________________________

Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent?__________ If NO, please explain________________________________________________________

Number of years parents are married:____________

If less than your age, please explain:______________________

Do you own a van:__________________
A truck with oversized tires:______________________
A waterbed:____________________
A pickup with a mattress in the back:______________
A condom:______________________
Pornography:__________________
Do you have an earing, nosering, or belly button Ring:______________
A tattoo:_________________

IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES NOW.

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you:__________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you:__________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you:___________________________________________________________

Church you attend:_____________________________
How often you attend:________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest:______________________________________________

Answer the following by filling in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential (that means I won’t tell anyone EVER):
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot is my________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my____________________
C. A woman’s place is in the ___________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is__________________________________
E. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is ________________________
NOTE: If answer E begins with T or A, discontinue. Leaving the premises, keeping your head low, and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

What do you want to be if you grow up:_______________________

What is the current rate of a hotel room:_______________________
Condoms come in packages of
A. 3
B. 6
C. 9
D. 12
E. All of the above

I SWEAR THAT ALL THE INFORMATION PROVIDED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, AND RED HOT POKERS.

Signature (that means sign your name, moron).

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by 2 gentlemen wearing black suits and white ties.

 

I had a paper copy of that somewhere. Very similar to "TEN RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER" post 55, page 2 of the Humour Thread:
http://vfrworld.com/forums/anything-goes/18695-humor-thread-2.html

 

It's this view of my white head and beard that makes the possibility of youth moot. I keep getting requests to let my beard grow and to play Santa Claus next December. It might work but Santa would need a red VFR (with hard bags for toys of course) to pull it off.

 

You know you're getting old when before being romantic with your wife and nibbling on her ear, you need to find your teeth.

 

You know your getting old when if asked your name, you have to think about it.

 

I was watching "Oblivion" and noticed that one of the actresses is a hot MILF so I looked her up on IMDB and saw that she's YOUNGER than me.

 

:hss: Joey is alive
Woooooooo Hoooooooooo
Where is Randy?

 

I think that falls under the category of:

"You may have had a few too many when"...

 

You know you're getting old when:

You start wearing safety googles and hearing protection.

 

Or when you forget what safety protection is and can't figure out why you can't hear google.

 

This is SICK..........................:rofl:

 

You know you are getting old when you have to do a full set of stretching exercises every morning before you can bend down enough to pull on your socks.

 

Or you hope she can't find hers.

 

When the young hottie says "Sweet ride" and than you open you're flip up helmet and she walks away, quickly.

Larry
VFRrider

 

Either that or you know you're getting old when the reason you are having trouble seeing and hearing is because you THOUGHT you were wearing safety goggles and hearing protection.

 

You know you are getting old when you damned near cut your fingers off with the table saw because you forgot to clean your safety goggles.

 

Solved that. Sold the table saw last year.