Computer problems? I'm your guy!

Yea there are some smart computer people on this site. I spent 19 yrs in the industry. The company I worked for had mirror drives since 1975 when the first system was designed. This along with total fault tolerance of the whole system. It is now HP's enterprise systems today (after mergers).

To show you how smart some of us are. Here's a little ditty I've been working on. Just a quickie paper I wrote. Neat technology though.


The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry

For a number of years now, work has been proceeding to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the "turbo-encabulator." Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the medial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive directance.

The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbline was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-0-delta type placed in panendermic semiboiloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremie pipe to the differential gridlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.

Forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% remanative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P=2.5Cn6.7 where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Chlomondeley's annular grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of metaploar refractive pilfrometer (for a description of this ingenious instrument, see Reference 1), but up to the present, nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope (2).

Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprock. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1942, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled a kryptonastic boiling shim to the tankered.

The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the large quasi-piestic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were specially designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that wending could be prevented by a simple addition to the living sockets, almost perfect running was secured.

The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on the standard nivel-sheave in that no dramcock oil is required after the phase detractors have been remissed.

Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has now reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

References


Rumpelvestein, L.E., Z. Elektro-technistatisch-Donnerblitz vii.
Oriceddubg of the Peruvian Academy of Skatological Sciences, June 1914.
For more than 50 years the Arthur D. Little Industrial Bulletin has endeavored to interpret scientific information in terms that the lay person could understand. "The turbo-encabulator in industry" is the contribution of J.H. Quick, graduate member of the Institution of Electrical Engineers in London, England, and was first published in the Institution's Students' Quarterly Journal vol 15 no. 58 p. 22 in December 1944.


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Editor's note: over the years, many firms have manufactured turbo-encabulators. While they are quite commonplace now, we often forget that they were once a specialty item. A representative example of a turbo-encabulator from the 1960s can be seen in this General Electric data sheet. (As of 11-Apr-2006, this is a better scan than was previously available.)
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Turbo-Encabulator FAQ
Q: Can I use a Fourier or Laplace transformer to power my vintage Turbo-encabulator?

— GreyVF750F
A: If you use a Fourier transformer, be sure you're discrete about it.
Fast Fourier transformers may seem appealing, but tend to leave grease spots where you set them on the bench.

Laplace transformers are best, but remember that you'll need a dual VanBergen power coupling if your TE was made before 1932. (Between 1932 and 1937, some units had helically-polarized inputs; lotsa luck finding the beam power input tubes for those.)

If you haven't powered your unit up yet, be sure to check the calibration on the conversion screens. They may not be compatible with the pitch of the modern power grid, and I don't have to tell you what THAT means!

— Eric Wilner
Q: What's a wennelsprock?

— Bill S.
A: It's a lot like a Finnegan pin, except for where it attaches to the molly sprocket, it uses a plain bearing instead of a ball bearing. This reduces creatisfration to below 37 RMQ's.

— Carl Byrns

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On quite the contrary I understand completely where you're coming from. People look at me and think "great, ANOTHER one of these guys". Well, it ain't like that. I'm of a different breed. Not much sense in trying to prove it however, but in time people will see how I am.

Looking back, it was foolish of me to think that just being plain honest and throwing my original post out there would have people react in any matter but negatively. Too many people get burned by people in my profession. Which is really quite depressing in itself that you can't trust a regular old IT guy.

I agree with you quite a lot. There are a lot of people out there that say "Oh, I can do X cheaper then anyone" or "Oh, I can do this better".

I hate those sentiments more then anyone else. There's a lot of people out there that give IT guys a bad name. In the real world people really don't know that much about computers and get drawn in way too easily by big promises and a nice smile.

I deal with a daily basis of customers that have all been burned by one of what I like to call vapour wizards (since they promise to be so great but you never see anything of the like). You would be surprised at some of the shit people try to pull nowadays.

Half of the time my job is spent coming into an existing project and fixing other peoples fuckups. I have pictures of service racks and cable runs and computer jobs that would make your head explode. They're just that terrible.

As for the goofing at work sentiment, I can't say it doesn't apply, more that I'm allowed free reign because of the fact that the CEO knows how I work. I don't goof off unless there's nothing to do. Which is often a rare occasion.

 

Pretty entertaining. To the untrained eye you might be able to pass that off as something intelligible.

 

Yeah HTRneck, I suppose computers have become sort of like bikes now in that all kinds of people are out there slapping together junk and calling it a custom bike.
There are certainly no shortage of squirrelbait types cobbing together crazy shit and riding it down the road. That mentality seem to have found its way into pc building now. Get a motor from here, a frame from there, a front end from somewhere. Throw it all together and see what happens. Just because you can do it doesnt always mean you should. But hey, maybe you can get yourself a reality show male soap opera where you fight with your Dad every episode and sell a shitload of T-shirts.

Its the American way.....

Anyways, looking forward to your posts, thanks for offering your help to those that can use it, and welcome to the forum.

 

HTRedneck: I wasnt jabbing at you, I was trying to be synicaly funny, obviously I failed. I do share your sentiment about IT guys bad name, Vapour wizards are everywhere, though they are better to deal with than the "I bought this computer from a tech friend, can you fix it?" mean while you cant find a legit copy of any of the preinstalled software anywhere on the harddisk,

BB: Zen like responses are due to the fact Im an asshole. Maybe not quite in your league but still the fact remains. At least Im not giving people the reality check of a life time in my posts. (yes you will use this as cannon fodder, this I accept and ignore)

Vfour......what can I say, you chat with me, not anything new that Im an ass.

For your info, I have yet to be caught gaming at work as I have the choice to go home when nothing is available (since that doesnt happen often theres no gaming, besides our work computers can barely play solitare).

 

Didn't even notice your post untill now. Did make me laugh however. Rest assured most of us in this trade have the same cynical humor. Just cause we're used to everything being on fire, and the only thing to do is make fun of it.

Sad that most of our time seems to be spent on fixing instead of creating, no matter the area.

I have the choice to go home as well(the wonderful thing about most of my work is that it can be done remotely). I just like the office because they're all good people. No suits and ties, just jeans, shirts, toilet humor and bad language(naturally, very few people every actually venture into our offices unless they actually work there). We've had our share of nerf wars on slow days, and the atmosphere is pretty lax to begin with.

One thing I've noticed: People will flock to your doors at the shot of having a computer/tech job. They're a dime a dozen. The good ones, are few and far between. I've had 6 prospective employees come in in the last 2 weeks, all of them have had to be turned down due to just plain incompetence or poor people skills. Thinking of taking one of them on just because we need another warm body. =/

 

I sense a budding romance here.. Hopefully there will be no issue.

 

Yea good old BB is a whore. Falls in and out of romance every time he changes hands.:hump:

 

To the untrained eye it probably seems so. Hookers charge. I'm free and I avoid messy bookeeping.

 

Have you seen the one that looks like a Wurlitzer Jukebox with the bubbler tubes and the built in doo-wop hits?

Even if you don't there is or was a guy here that can fix it if it gets busted.


Geez! according to your own admission being a bike whore and whats his name's supposition that I am too, we should register someplace and get at least a tax writeoff as pros. None of this amateur shit is cutting it.

 

Mineral oil is nonconductive and can be used to replace the surrounding air in the machine. All you really need to do is take out all of the fans, surround the hard drive seals in a good amount of silicone, and the whole deal gets submersed in the oil and you're good to go. Well, sort of.

You need some sort of radiator system to keep the ambient temp of the oil low. The general life of all parts involved will be shortened, seems to vary with general quality of original part. I've seen it done in high end machines as a cheap solution for overheating when overclocking, but again, it really kills off the life of the deal. Say your average lifespan of a decent computer is 5-6 year. This will take it down to 3, 4 tops and that's if your system is fully enclosed for no contamination or you're keeping it very clean.

It's an easy weekend project, it's lots of fun to set up and see how it works, gets a lot of wows from people who see it, but other then that, it won't really do much for ya in terms of practicality.

 

surprised nobody posted this
[video=youtube;rLDgQg6bq7o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLDgQg6bq7o[/video]

 

The written version was writ before Univac and other technological marvels like Edsels and likely before the dude in the white coat was born. Then again, he could be a Botox freak..

 

that is great. better than the paper version. Though I do have drawings for the turbo-encabulator and they don't look like that. Must be a new application. Now I have a video too. Thanks

 

Much like your posts? Yes is correct..

 

You missed one.[video=youtube;UyRllRWfLJE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyRllRWfLJE&NR=1[/video]

 

as long as you have a decent system to cope with the heat initially it won't be a problem. a small radiator system made with 50 bucks worth of parts from your home depot. An aquarium pump and some copper tubing will get you a long way as long as you don't kink anything. I will add that plastic or nonconductive tubing should be used to go to and from the radiator unit. hell, for most purposes, unless you have a particularly hot set up, the circulation alone should help keep the heat down.

you're not dealing with monumental amounts of heat, but you still need a way to bleed some of that heat off otherwise eventually you'll end up with a big vat of 140 degree mineral oil.

i have no idea what actually causes parts to fail, could be the oil eating away at stuff, could be increased resistance over time resulting in a fry... there's lots of things that can cause it to go bad.

not that that should stop anyone from doing the project.. in all reality you're not losing that much in terms of lifespan, and it's fun to do, albeit a bit messy.