great entertainment

I feel compelled to share this with you my VFRW brethren, it has given me great enjoyment.


Stop Alien Abductions

Please check it out. It is imperative that you read the "directions for use"

 

bear... you may have to upgrade from your tinfoil one. this one looks legit!

I love the testimonial on the left -

"I have been abducted by aliens for years and found
stopabductions.com by a happy coincidence.

The Thought Screen Helmet,
invented by an expert, has
stopped the unwelcome visitations and has raised me and my family`s quality of life. Therefore I highly
recommend it."

I would laugh, but who knows maybe its real?

 

I've been meaning to pad my helmet somehow... it's a little too big. And I've also been trying to keep the aliens out. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone?

 

This just in, the Velostat wikipedia page mentions thought screen helmets as one of the two uses for this product. It must be true.

Velostat - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

damn it. i could have used this last week. oh well, better late than never.

 

Commence probing!

YouTube - Kids in the Hall - Anal Probing Aliens

 

LOL. good one.

@comicus, good video as well. That was funny!

 

Oh crap! All this time I thought the aluminum foil linings I've installed in all of my hats and helmets was sufficient! Now I'm going to have to re-do all of them with velostat? Dammit!!!!

 

I'm printing up pamphlets right now to hand out at the company's annual 8-hour OSHA HAZWOPER Refresher Course. I believe this is an important safety issue that needs to be dealt with full scale.

 

One of the most interesting things about Velostat is that it offers protection to those folks that have been abducted at least once.

I think theyre missing a huge market. Those of us that are being tracked by the various evil intelligence agencies can always use a better product.

Please be careful Elwray, OSHA is part of the government , you know.

 

I passed this along to our safety committee with a suggestion to get one for each employee. They are required to respond to all recommendations. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I put my least favorite employee's name on it.

 

The thought screen helmet has effectively stopped several types of aliens from abducting or controlling humans. Only four failures have been reported since 1998.
Two of those failures were encounters with alien-human hybrids. In 2005, a cloth helmet with a smaller area of Velostat, which had a Velcro strap, was easily removed by an alien-human hybrid. Another failure occurred in 2007 when two alien-human hybrids snuck up behind a frail woman, tackled her, and forcedly removed her helmet.

Ahhhh, now I see what's going on....All this time I thought that moron dickweed I work with was just an ass.....turns out he's probably a hybrid