Dear Randy

Dear Randy,

There is a how shall I say it, a grammar nazi, I have to work with. She insists on using e.mail (note the dot) while I prefer just email. How should I take care of this email dilemma?

E.mail vs Email in Georgia

 

Dear Randy:

Well, with some trepidation I once again followed your advice. I had my penile skin grafted to my nasal passages to repair the damage. Now all is well, except every time I sneeze my nose gets hard, then starts contracting viloently, then shoots snot, and then softens up once again. It's a bit disconcerting, to say the least. Thank you (I think).

Sincerely,

Knife the Nose Boner

 

Dear Randy:

i have the most ungratefull wife i spent my whole weekend building a fence and i ran out of slates and screws when i told her we needed four more slates and more screws she said how you fucked something up i know you did keep in mind she made the shoping list for 44ft of 4ft wood fence but shes the one that fucked up the slates mesure 5 1/2 in and claim 6 so i ended up 44in short so how do you make an ungratefull wife gratefull?

 

Hillarious...............

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
That was great...............LMAO
Now I have the same problem.

 

Dear Randy,

Lately I have noticed a pronounced increase in my inability to decide.

I'm not really sure where this is indecisiveness is coming from or why.

I keep thinking there must be something that I'm missing, but cant decide what it might be

I have prepared this visual aid to assist me,




So far it hasnt helped much, maybe you can make some sense of it all, but I just dont know.

 

I'm no Randy, but can't you think of a way to give her the inches she has been missing?

 

Dear Randy,

I have a problem.
I belong to an online forum about motorcycles. I have been an avid rider for about two years now. I love my bike more than my children. I have even included it in my will. Some say that is a little obsessive, but "BAH."
That is not my issue. This forum...it has me by the short and curlies. I HAVE to check it like 10 times a day at least. And it gets worse. Every time I check it, I feel the need to post something. It started with meaningful, insightful things. I tried to learn as much as I could. I tried to help others with what I learned. But then I had less substance to share and I could not stop posting. I even went as far as starting a thread about absolutely NOTHING. That thread (The Tiger, you may have heard of it) has taken on a life of its own. It just keep going and growing! And my need to post is insatiable.

Any advice would be helpful.

Post Hooer

 

This is relatively an easy issue to deal with. The only difference between e.mail and email the "." She has a period and you don't. There are times you should aviod contact with those who have a period. Now if you had said the was a grammar nazi and he insisted on using using e.mail, then I would be asking you if you are out. Move on.

 

You did not say, does your sneezing happen when you are intimate with yoru partner, or when you scratch or pick your nose. If this becomes a problem that you cannot overcome, try snorting some wasabi powder, 2 times a day for 10 days.

 

Okay..... who brought this back to life!!!

 

A tough one. A slat is a board correct. And what do you do with screws. So when your and or your wife find yourself board, time to consideer what you do with the screws. Does that work?

 

In your case, instead of snorting wasabi powder, because of you enthnic back ground, you should snort honey bees. But yours should not be powdered. Fresh would work best for you.

 

You have not said how old you were. Based on what you indicate to me here is that you are probably in the 30 - 40 year old male group. You have just left your mom's home and it was a very upsetting departure on your part. You mom has been a huge part of your life. You have been dependant on her for advise and approval for any decisions that you had to make thus far in your pathetic life. You need to cut the apron strings and get on with your life.

I have prepareded this visual to carry in your wallet for reference whenever you find yourself unable to decide what to do. A wise person would carry a log to make sure he does not become unballanced.

 

I don't understand. You may have touched something that is growing. Wear a catchers mitt. The Kellog Food company has asked me to advise you to cease with their trademark.

 

I was away having diner at Gov't House. My behaviour did not change. Chuck was waiting for me to leave so he could go there today.

 

:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:

 

OMG I was just going to post about a simular problem... Ok, so Im like 37 years old and l live with my mom in her basement. I LOVE Cheetos... but not the regular type I love the spicey fries type. Now I have an orange penis and my taint is hurtfully burning. My question is since I travel a lot... what GPS would you recomened for the VFR?

Sincerely,

Mom always yelling at me to get a real job and get off the computer and my taint is on fire but feels kinda good.

 

37 and living in your mom's basement suite is likely a front for actually sleeping in the same bed as mom. This should be discouraged at your age. By now, the benifits of breast feeding have long passed.

Cheetos called me to say he does not love you so you need to break off this relationship soon and clean. To further this relationship would only lead to Cheetos witholding the spicy stuff. If this were to happen, you could try to lessen the blow by rubbing Caustic Soda in your taint area. It is a safe product to use. It is commonly used in the Brewing Industry to dissolve the foil labels off bottles.

But beware. This product is more intense than what Cheetos has to offer. Lard tunderin jesus your pubic pits will be afire.

GPS systems should be avoided at all costs. They all have those annoying voices that keep telling your to "Turn around" and when you do, you end up running smack into the back of some fucking bus. Buy a map.

Your mom must not be aware that you must be on the computer to remain successful in your Internet Porn business. Show her what you do. She may get excited and join you to take this business into a whole new erection....direction.

Wash you hands.

 

LOL I'm late adding this note about the thread but this is awesome!!! :thumbsup: I can't believe I'm saying this about a LEO but Randy is one cool dude!

This "Dear Randy" idea is brilliant and those answers are hilarious! :lol: