Dear Randy

Dear Randy Readers,

Dare I go where no one else has gone on this site. Send me your problems and I will try to give you sound advise. Especially juicy renditions of your issues may require advise from someone more qualified such as Ann Landers or cousin Abby:ear::help:

 

Oh no Randy got the Drewl syndrom.................hahaha

 

There's this girl at work but I'm just a little too scared to make a move on her. She seems like she has some issues with guys but deep down I think she just needs some reassurance that not all men are pigs.

So, one day I finally got the nerve and asked her if she wanted some lunch. To my surprise she said yes and we went to some nice place and had some laughs. Then as we were walking out the restaurant she said that the chain on the bike looks real pretty in gold. After looking at it the chain just seems too loose, how tight should it be?

Confused about chains in Georgia

 

Huh...? Joey you need to see a shrink

 

Dear Randy,

I've got this pimple on my butt,and I....uh....

Aw nevermind......:redface:


ound:ound:ound:

 

Dear Randy,

I seem to spend most of my time being confused about everything. It seems to be particularly bad when I am awake. Can you help?

Confused in California

 

Dear Randy,

My low fuel indicator is blinking and my front tire is about 5 psi low on my bike. Oh me, oh my,:shocked: What in ever should I do????:doh:op2:

 

Make another date with this girl seem as you enjoyed her company in the first place. You should be sure to ask her if she was born a he or she cause you never know these days. If it really doesn't matter to you don't ask as it might hurt feelings.

The tension of the chain should be tightened such that the slack is similar to the size of what a reasonable person might expect certain appendages on your body to be. Gold chains are pretty to be sure, but you may wish to consider fuchsia which is becoming the up and coming color for todays biking men,

 

Many believe that the appearance of pimples are a result of consuming improper food too often. Some pimples are really a rash from rubbing too hard. You need to decide what the cause of your pimple is first before we can deal with the removal of said pimple

 

A confused state of mind is often mistaken for ectreme intoxication brought on by the ingestion of copious quantities of cheap booze. Switch to Highland Park 18 year old Single Malt Scotch and savor each sip. You will consume much less and be thinking clearly sooned. Oh. And stop sucking on those doobies made from BC Bud

 

Time your eye blinking with the light. Close your eye when the light comes on and open it when it is off. Soon you will develope the proper cadence and you will never know the light is blinking.

As far as the air goes we need to know what time of the year it is. You may be running summer air in your tires still and it is now about time to start using winter air. Don't forget that now is the time you want to start using a de-icer in your headlights too.

 

Dear Randy,

I was working on my bike the other nite and was adjusting the valves and lost the finnagin pin on the v-tec side - is it ok to ozzle gloop it instead of getting a new finnagin pin??

 

Just add a bit of Slick 50 and drive it. If it doesn't stop you will probably be OK. If the engine stops. Take it to someone who is not a stupid as you. I didn't mean to suggest that being stupid is neccessarily a bad thing. Without stupid people, us bright people would not have anyone to compare ourselves with

 

thank you for you fast reply.
another problem is now my wife and kids are in the garage bugging me - can I shoot them??

 

Dear Randy:

I just met a fabulous girl I would like to start dating. But I heard through the grapevine that she will only go out with guys that have a 9" pecker. Would it be wise for me to have surgery to remove several inches just to have a chance with her, or should I just move on and look elsewhere?

Sincerely,

Big Dick Johnson

 

It is important to either muzzle the firearm or add sound-proofing insulation in the garage. Use a calibre that will do the job but not expend too much of that stinky smell int the air. Spread plastic on floor first.

 

Muuuuwaaaahahahahahaahahaaaaaa!!!!

 

She needs to obtain my private number. Try slamming yours in a door repeatedly. Eventually the end may fall off. You made no mention of whether you have been circumcised or not

 

Lmao

You guys so hillarious.
ound:ound:ound:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

Damn, Randy, you do seem to have a knack for this. You may not have to keep your day job much longer!