Tiger Tiger

Drewl, I think you caught a video of me on my last camping trip, I was in my birthday suit, just had to run behind a tree, dang man, it was 2:00 in the morning, thought I was alone! Didn't think anybody was around, I apologize.

 

I need to hook this guy up with Norcalboy to find him the best online prices

 

It is over 80 degrees today in Phoenix. But instead of riding, I am here, beseeching the powers that be to watch over my snow-bound brothers, for I fear that cabin fever has affected them in some very bizarre ways. While I do realize that the arrival of spring will usually alleviate all symptoms, the recent ruminations recorded here have me very, very concerned. Please be well, my brothers, for deliverance from the winter-induced psychosis is near at hand. I'm here for you...

 

I talk to myself when writing. I think it's me talking...That whole voice in the head thing, you know. Some people think it's fun to do what the voices tell them. The voices need a patsy. The perpetrators need an excuse. Everybody's a victim. Not me. I tell the voices what to do. Maybe I am a voice in someone else's head. That was always fun with the intercom in the psych unit, but that's another story. If this book sells, maybe I'll tell it someday. (post statute of limitations most definitely) Sometimes, I listen to the voices, make a mental picture of their intimations, snicker to myself( or who ever is next to me on the subway in the dark tunnel with the lights flickering) and then put it out of my head. I think that has something to do with the fine line betwixt (cool word huh?) sanity and insanity. I believe (or like to believe) we all have thoughts that seeemingly come from nowhere and are irrational. The sane put them away. The insane, unsane, outsane, asane, exsane, mentally unstable act upon those far out ideations. Those just on that fine line...write.

 

^^^^^^^Nurse, I'll have 2 of whatever he's having^^^^^^^ Drewl, you inspire me..........to do what I don't know, but you inspire me..........

 

After an exceptionally long and arduous deliberation, I've decided that the best thing for me would be to cut the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree, and learn to play the flute.

 

That sounds awesome, pm me with the GPS coordinates of the tree, and I'll join ya.

I'll bring a mandolin and some whiskey

 

I'll bring an accordian jug of Italian Vino, and some garlic bread. after the wine and chesse hits, we can fling poo at all the passers-by and really get back to our roots.....

The tiger grows restless................

 

I love you, Man.
My main man, Mayonaise.

 

Please remember that I'll be learning to play the flute. The whiskey should help quite a bit...

 

Damn skippy!!!! This is turning into a party!?!?!

 

Now I know what you're thinking, there's just no way that can be true, but it is, hand to God and all that stuff.

There is a person at my workplace that I am completely convinced is the stupidest person alive. If not the stupidest, which is a bold statement I will agree, then in the top five with a bullet. If fact, its possible that this person would top the stupid chart amongst all beings that have ever lived. I know that covers a lot of people, but the magnitude of this person's stupidity is truly breathtaking, sort of a grand sweeping stupidity that covers most all areas of knowledge and ability levels, a renaissance of stupidity that in its scope is both deep and wide ranging.

I am not the only person that can see this , if you were to take a poll of the fine folks I work with, you would find consensus that there is no one stupider at my workplace, and that they have never personally met anyone stupider.


Now I know that its not a good thing to call people stupid, and it makes me feel bad to say this in such a way, but you must understand, sometimes in life you come across something that is unique in this world, an anomaly, something special..How many times have you heard a song that just transports you, or watched an athlete make an impossible move, or seen a flawless machine , its every detail executed in special materials? When faced with such marvels in life, invariably we are compelled to call them out for all to see, we can't let it go by and let them pass without commenting.

Such is the sheer purity of this person's stupidity, like a diamond or a star, it reaches out to you , it is not to be dismissed, it must be recognized

Again, I can almost hear you , and youre saying, "Give us a sample , or tell us some personal details"

Lets not get mired in that . I will not go down the path that would lead to sympathy for this person's lot in life. It does not matter their background , or gender, or work environment, Spending time there only deflects and opens the observer up to accusations of elitism, or prejudices that really dont appy here. You would be missing my real point and that is :

This is the stupidest person alive.

I have heard others at my workplace make the comment, " How can anyone be so stupid?"

You see, that statement alone implies that it takes work and perseverance to achieve something so special. Just doing something dumb every now and then, like most of us do, is not going to cut it when you're at the level of the stupidest person alive. Every day is a challenge for you, when youre the stupidest person alive, how do you top an especially stupid act performed today? The expectations for you are just overwhelming. Think for a moment of all the things you have to claim you dont know how to do. Think about that, first you have to know that these things you claim not to know how to do exist, and then you have to prove that you were too stupid to learn them. Wow. I'm telling you people, it can not be easy, to be the stupidest person alive. And that friends is just the tip of the iceberg, Think of your work day and all the various little things you do that helps the company but that no one really notices. Maybe you do a bit extra here and there, Why? Because you know it helps everyone get along and makes the day go smoothly. Now imagine that you dont know any of that, or that you dont even realize that what you do affects others, now you're at the level of the stupidest person alive, Pretty heady stuff, huh?

When you are at the top of your game, many of us like to say we're in the "Zone"
I know that's a tired athletic cliche, but imagine having to live in the "Zone " all the time. You just couldnt do it, not one of us could. And we all have weaknesses to our game, things where we know we need a little work. When you're the stupidest person alive, there is no room for that. You must be as stupid as possible all the time, not one moment of rest for you.

So now you're about to say " No, Bear, I work with the stupidest person alive"

No.....you....do ..not.. not even close,

Imagine for a moment a junior high field day, like when you were a kid and you and your classmates all went out and competed for ribbons in running, jumping, three legged races, etc. Now imagine you are lining up for the 50 yd. dash. Now you look up and Usain Bolt is peeling off his warm ups...........now you get the picture.

When faced with such purity of purpose, or in this case stupidity, many of us see something beyond us, something transcendant, something that is for the ages. Maybe so. I suppose its possible that there is a reason why a person could be so stupid. An example for the rest of us to avoid? Too easy. A challenge for us to aspire to? Not if we want to continue as a species. Perhaps , like the Neaderthal, it is an abberant offshoot of homo sapeins, homo stupidious, and it will die out . Not likely.

And so I challenge you , my bike riding friends. can It be possible? Do I actually know the stupidest person alive? All of us bikers have stories , whether its the cagers that pulled a moronic stunt or our buddy that rode drunk or....well you name it. But all those stories have something in common. They are one incident isolated in time and may never happen again. At least we hope they dont. None of those stories have the unwavering , constant unrelenting repeatability of my co-worker, which is what you need to be the stupidest person alive.
Can you hope to make claim against me? Can you say that you know:

The stupidest person alive

Now I'm not talking just your average everyday dumbass, those people get on youtube every day. and I'm also not talking stupid politicos, those guys are just such ego driven meglomaniacs that you might as well tell me about what crackheads do. I want real hard bedrock stories of your co-workers . While you're trying to get the job done, these clowns are mucking up the works.


The Tiger wants to know

 

Hey, vfourbear! I know he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, not even close, but don't you think you are being a bit hard on our new Vice Pesident?

 

I win:
YouTube - Human bobsled vs. motorcycle

 

So...yer sayin this guy's not so bright?

 

Was it that obvious?, dang, so much for my attempt at being subtle. And who said it was a guy?, Not me.

 

A blonde, then?

 

W. got a job? Good for him!