Humour: 21 economic models explained with cows

21 Economic Models explained with Cows:bs:


I got this one in my email the other day, pretty funny, so i thought i'd share.

i added my own Honda one at the end, so for those that feel inspired feel free
to add your own.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows...
Both are out surfing when one is eaten by a great white shark!
You close the office and go for a few beers to commiserate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks strangley attractive?

THE HONDA RACING CORPORATION
you have one very high tech cow.
this cow has "UTEC'- aka' udder tech'.
when uddder is not very full,only 2 nipples open.
when udder is very full, all 4 nipples open.
some customer dont like 'UTEC' so you decide to design a new cow.
this one will have 20% more udder and 5 nipples in a V format.
your customers cant wait to see it!

 

you are killin me.
That is some funny shite.

 

I love it!
You forgot one

HIPPIES PLAN
You have two cows that are beautiful but will not stop farting witch produces methane and ruining the ozone

So for the good of the enviroment you decide to kill and eat them

Then you remember your a vegan (even though your not sure what that is) and cant kill or eat them

So in order to fix this you and your friends protest have a giant drum circle (also not knowing what thats for but you have seen native americans do it) and your plan to fix this is to legalize pot

 

You have two cows

They're worth about $10,000

A mortgage broker, egged on by Wall street types, convinces you to buy twenty cows on an interest only loan because cows will be worth $500,000 a piece in three years.

Everyone else does the same thing

The world economy collapses.

You lose all your cows, the mortgage broker has to sell his beemer, the government bails out everyone but you , the Wall Street types take a 20 million golden parachute and start looking for the next scam.

 

Good stuff

 

I'm thinking about buying a sixth Gen cow. Who thinks UTEC cows are superior/inferior to non UTEC cows?
Is the milk surge worth the extra complexity?

 

The 6th Gen UTEC cow is fine you only need a "MOOC III USB" to unlock the real potential of the UTEC. Also purchase the "Methane2 eliminators" to appease the tree huggers.

 

ahhh yes..you want the "Me 2 elims".

The fart taxes are crippling without them! :bs:

:rofl: